We often ignore, dismiss or actively put a lid on uncomfortable feelings in order to get on with life. Hurts, disappointments, grief, loss, anger, abuse, bullying, injustices etc. can all get 'stuffed down' inside with the flippant thought that they will go away. But disappear they do not.
For some exploding like a champagne bottle, when further hard times come, will occur. Out it all flows - anger, frustrations, accusations, blame, swear words.... uncontrollably spilling out onto loved ones, friends, work colleagues or whoever is nearest at the time. Not pleasant for all involved and, although it can clear out some of the bad taste it was having on your life, it now affects others too.
Bottling it up can cause illnesses too. Stomach pains, loss or gain of appetite, tightened muscles, headache or migraine, bladder and/or bowel problems etc. It stands to reason that bad stuff kept inside tries to get out, either by illness or leaking out in sarcastic snipes, niggles or bursts of anger.
So if this has been your life's pattern it may be time to try something different in resolving unpleasant feelings. Here are a few suggestions :
- Saying "that hurt" at the time rather than storing it up will lessen its hold on you. Bottling it will cause it grow into something bigger, making you bitter and unhappy. Dealing calmly with it as soon as possible will be 'out' of you rather than festering inside.
- Talking the situation over with a close, trusted friend or partner.
- Writing in a journal for it to be 'out of your head' and onto paper. You can destroy the paper in a therapeutic act of 'getting rid' of it.
- Doing something very physical to relieve tension ie. gardening, running, crafts or hobbies. Thumping cushions, pillows, punch bag in a safe environment.
- Remember this acronym - F.O.E. - Feel it, Own it, Express it.
- See a counsellor for support and encouragement in learning this new skill if you find it too hard to try alone.
So rather than bottling it, let it out in a way best for you and get rid. Bad feelings = bad thoughts=lowering of mood=illness, depression, low self image. Own those feelings - 'yes I feel angry' - then ask yourself how you will channel that anger safely; how will I deal with this hurt? Positive action = positive thoughts = better mood = keeping a more balance life.
Perhaps you have other coping strategies to share? Do comment below....
