It’s been 32 years since I wrote this book and used a vanity publisher. I paid a fee in response to an advert to be published. It was a substantial fee I could ill afford but I was passionate to see my work in print. I collected a box which contained a number of copies – I forget how many, but not a great deal – maybe 50. I was so excited to get them home, hold them and see a dream come true. But alas, I was very disappointed when I opened the book and saw the printed pages – so amateur.
When I tried to contact the producers, they had vanished
from all trace. I felt I had been taken for a fool by a money-making couple. My
‘life script’ told me it wasn’t good enough and I wasn’t good enough. (My school reports always contained the script 'could do better'.)
The artist was a friend of a friend, a twin girl, Julie Genders. The original pictures I feel sure were in colour. I hope she went on to have a good career with her artful gift. We lost contact a year or two later.
The book was intended for children 3-9 years of age telling
them of bible stories, explaining church services and especially christenings,
weddings and funerals. The book should have been something I was proud of,
instead it’s been hidden away but the memory of it has kept me determined to
fulfil an ambition. It has made me learn and hone skills, it made me love books
with a passion, it has shaped who I am.
I continued to write, always. I cannot live without writing something. Lots of notebooks filled with fleeting thoughts, folders of poems and short stories never seen by others; letters to magazines, articles in parish, commercial and professional magazines were printed and boosted my writing confidence.
As time passed and the typewriter made way for computers. Instead
of posting a manuscript and waiting for its precious return, now, sending work
off to publishers and agents is replaced by the simple click of sending an
email. The wait for reply can, however, still be a long time. Becoming an author is harder than any job
interview. Rather than meet people, research of who I’m sending my work to for
consideration is a silent process, searching the web to identify which
publisher or agent may be interested in my women’s contemporary fiction novel
and other children’s books. No doubt some of them research me on the web too. One day, I will succeed in my quest, with the right help, at the right
time.
