Memory Lane break

44 years of marriage needs to be celebrated, well life itself needs celebrating, no need for an excuse.  Living in the moment, whether in good health or not, is certainly one way to create happiness.  I expect you have heard of, if not use, Groupon?  Well we took advantage of a deal at the Park Regis Hotel, Birmingham for this particular anniversary.  We were both born in Birmingham and besides an occasional visit to the shops in the town centre we had never revisited our old 'haunts' and wanted to see the changes, particularly the canals.  I will be reviewing the hotel on Trip Advisor as it was excellent but here's a glimpse of where we were:

Birmingham on Sea 😄

Bar Balcony

Beautiful decoration

Our trip began with a short train journey (now we have Senior Railcards) which took us into Birmingham New Street station (Grand Central, as it is now known) which we had visited before.  We walked the length of Broad Street recognising, and not recognising, places along the way.  Lee Longlands shop was still there - we bought our first pine dining table and chairs from there; as were one or two pubs we had individually frequented in our teenage years before we met.  But the college where I was trained in Secretarial skills back in the 1970's was no longer there, in fact Brasshouse Passage has now transformed into a beautiful opening to the canals.

Brasshouse passage renewed

Brindley Place near to Sea Life Centre

Lego Giraffe outside Lego world by the canal

Birmingham Art Gallery

I hope that angel was healing me in the Art Gallery!   We also rested in Victoria Square next to the Town Hall where I recalled singing in a school choir 'Jerusalem' to the Queen Mother who was sat in the gallery.

On the way back up Broad Street to the hotel I noticed the pavement had special stars along the way, here are two of my favourites:

Life is full of opposites and the beauty and opulence of the city also has a down side.  

I was saddened by sights of the homeless making a bed with a sleeping bag or quilt in doorways or on the pavement where there was a bit of shelter or they were walking the streets with bags of all their possessions. By night and early hours of the morning the sirens of emergency services were sounding much too frequently.  That said, it all made me grateful for what I have, who I am, where I came from and where I am now.  Hope you have enjoyed this glimpse into my life - if so do comment below.

THREE & A HALF YEARS

A REFLECTION

I thought I was retired but it seems there is still 'work to do' still left for me to experience.  At 60 I began to think about retiring from self-employment I had enjoyed in the counselling field.  The landscape was changing - my governing body moving goal posts meant I would have to do MORE studying in order to keep practising as a counsellor and supervisor of counsellors.  The annual fees of said governing body, as everything else, increased yearly as well as insurance cover, Personal Development courses which were an obligatory requirement of the job, travel, supervision and other overheads saw my outgoings becoming greater than my income.

At 61 I took an adventurous holiday to Skyros Greek Island (see blogs - The Big Adventure 2015) to help me find a new way forward - could I at last be a WRITER?  And so this became my plan and my goal - I am in the process of achieving the dream of having a book published.  Letting go of being a Private Practise Counsellor became easier once I had a plan of 'what's next'.  I talked it over with my two counsellor friends - we met and still meet in our trio every two or three months - after all this was going to close a door on 25 years experience.  They too were toying with the idea with similar reasons.

It was my greatest joy seeing counselling students through the arduous journey of study and reaching their Diploma or Degree certificate having had many hours of therapy with me.  I treasured all clients - seeing them have 'lightbulb' moments of revelation or changing thinking patterns or embracing self-love and moving away from bullies, life-debilitating situations or learning to simply say No when necessary for peace of mind.  Others looked at situations from another perspective through counselling, learnt more about themselves and others and relating.  It was my utter privilege to work alongside such a wide variety of people of all ages and stages of life as they shared inner most thoughts and feelings not shared before.

So, when taking on new clients I began my journey towards an ending (without endings there are no new beginnings).  I prepared each new person that should their counselling be long term I would be ceasing to practise beyond April 2016.  Telling them this reinforced the decision in my brain as it was a long wind-down process.  I learnt to let go by referring prospective clients to other counsellors I knew well and then finally I gave notice to the professional organisations/companies I was linked to that from 31st March 2016 I would no longer by practising.

My last client was working through a sudden bereavement and fortuitously she was ready for her own brave step into a wider world on our last day.  I had seen her take her first steps and survive in the world of a single woman taking a holiday alone which she conquered with pride.  When I closed the door behind her I wept.  Tears of joy, sadness, relief and thankfulness.  She had given me a card and gift - there are some clients you will never forget and she will be one of mine.

My counselling cabin at the bottom of the garden was no longer a counselling room.  The bookcase glared at me, its shelves hosted theory and self-help books, folders of CPD papers and study material - the space in the room shouted 'time for a change'.  In the weeks that followed I emptied the shelves and sorted into keep, shred, share piles - other counsellors were offered a lot of my books.  The therapeutic process of a good clear out and moving furniture around, painting an old chair, buying a table, putting up a new shelf and pictures all served a purpose of preparing me for a new 'special/sacred' space.  I had a new colour - pink instead of beige and brown, and a theme of nature - birds, trees, stones and birdhouses.  I put up some twinkle lights and it felt like I was a kid in a Wendy house playing make-believe I will be a writer next!  My She-Shed was transformed; it is now my writing space.  Now I could be serious about my ambition that I had put off/denied/not believed or been encouraged to do all of my life.

I have written a novel, yet to be published and have 2 sequels in my head and notebooks.  I have had articles printed in magazines and have entered a world of authors, bloggers, writers and readers. During these last two years life has thrown some nasty cards my way but it hasn't deterred me.  I have put it down and picked it up as and when I was able to.  I would not have coped with working with clients through the health issues both myself and my daughter have had to deal with plus 3 bereavements and 2 other family members with cancer.  But here we are, out of the dark days and in another phase of life.  I have become a Lunchtime Supervisor; leader of Tamworth Readers & Writers group; co-leader of Being Well group and regularly meeting with my craft group - now in its 11th year.  I have edited my novel and had 3 people read it.  Now its time to put it out there in an effort to be published.

I maintained contact with my counselling trio and two students who are now private practitioners themselves.  A friend I did some degree courses with in Lancaster now lives nearer too.  These precious ladies 'get me', they listen like no-one else listens.  They enable me to be real, strong, valued and grounded.  I am also writing blogs for a counsellor in London knitting together my two greatest passions - counselling and writing.  I may retire from paid work when I get my pension at 66 but for now a new path has opened its way for me and I am very happily walking along it.

A Visit to Southport

SOUTHPORT

in May

The M6 took us from the Midlands to a place I had only visited once before on a coach trip.  This time Pete and I stayed in a B & B for 3 nights.  The visit was mainly to see an old friend who was now a resident in a Care Home in Southport but also to experience somewhere new in the UK.  

First impressions of our chosen B & B was - WOW.  What a hidden gem of a place.  Light, airy, clean, tidy, modern and a lovely greeting from the owners and their dogs.  They have four guest rooms and ours overlooked the garden.  A quick unpacking job, then we headed outdoors.  I remembered that the sea was a fair walk from the town and thankfully had good footwear.  We walked to the pier taking in the wildlife and boats on the marina before entering the 2nd longest pier in the UK.

As the sea goes out for miles and miles and miles there were areas where cars could drive onto the beach one side of the pier and dogs could run around on the other side.  The weather was lovely but it did get rather breezy the further down the pier we strolled.  

We found a fish and chip café called Diva which I would fully recommend - huge portion and a wide variety of drinks. 

Well, I'm on holiday!

In nearby Birkdale village we found a café for lunch with our dear friend and ate so much that we had to walk it off around the town centre of Southport later.  My phone app told me I had done 12,500 steps (7.6km).  Hope that killed the calories consumed!

A café with 'book' wallpaper - love it.

AOTEAROA SOUTHPORT - our Bed & Breakfast accommodation.

I can't recommend this place highly enough.  Vince and Denise, who originate from New Zealand, made us so welcome and their lovely home was our home for a few days.  I have posted a review on TripAdvisor if you are thinking of going to Southport and looking for somewhere to stay.  The breakfasts were like none we have had anywhere else - the choice was mouth-watering.  Denise is into healthy eating so anyone with a food intolerance will be well chuffed with gluten free biscuits in your room, soya and coconut milk if you need it, water with lemon in etc etc.  I came home with a recipe for the Granola she makes and was very impressed with her egg Benedict and other cooked breakfasts.  We ate in her kitchen which is beautifully arranged with all the latest equipment.

The house is an unusual design; the dogs are lovely - so well behaved; the garden catches the sun in the afternoon.

En-route home we stopped by Crosby Beach to see Antony Gormley's sculptures.  Unfortunately the tide was in and the weather turned cold so just a 30 minute stop to walk along the breezy front and spy the statues.

Oh no, I missed the boat!

Where am I?

HER SECRET - Book Review

What a privilege and pleasure to be asked to read a proof copy of Kelly Florentia's sequel to No Way Back.  This request via Twitter excited me from the offset.  Receiving the paperback Her Secret was soul cheering; I opened the package with eager anticipation and glee.  My palms ran over the covers, gently, like I was holding a baby.  It was smooth and cold but my hands were about to bring it to warmth and life as I opened its first pages, published by Urbane Publications.

I found it very hard to get past the first sentence written in CAPITAL LETTERS.  It almost commands reflecting on the answer, as if the lovely author is asking you a question through soul-waves.   

I press on into Chapter 1.  I instantly love it as its written in the first person and I identify with the protagonist's sentiments.  And then I turn over the first page to find Cyprus is mentioned - my second home for three special years.  I just KNOW I am going to love this story.  During the first two chapters the intrigue kicks in and warning bells about Audrey Fox's relationship begin to ring in my head.  

The pace, or was it my heart, quickens.  By Chapter 7 I can't put it down - I'm well and truly hooked - well we love a bit of gossip and hearing others secrets don't we?

During Chapter 12 I had my Counsellor's hat on and wanted to persuade Audrey to come to my Private Practise cosy room where she could off-load to her hearts content in confidence that all this 'stuff' whizzing about her brain could unravel, make sense and give her answers to the way forward.  Poor girl, I fear she will have a nervous breakdown if she doesn't tell someone something soon.  It gets so intense that I have to put the book down for a breather - I'm so wrapped up in the situation.  I have to 'come out' of the book into the calm reality of my life.  And yet....   I am pulled back, soooooo wanting to know how Audrey gets tangled into a web like a fly.  I'm scared for her.  The writing is alive, vibrant, thrilling and compelling.

I love how Audrey's brain works - where there is one truth there are lots of negative lies buzzing around her brain until the next sentence or paragraph or chapter negates these thoughts.  How often do we go off on a tangent in moments of stress, creating worst case scenarios in our head or telling ourselves we've got it all wrong and try to make good sense from a bad situation, refusing to believe the plain obvious truth or trust our gut instincts?

There are laugh out loud moments too - I'm sure readers will love Audrey's bubble bath scene and swear never to take a mobile phone into the bathroom ever again.  I mean, you may have dropped yours in the water or down the loo, but never what Audrey did!

Audrey's life bumps from one catastrophe to another.  She should work for the fire brigade putting flames out that have been lit and fanned by her nearest and dearest.  Her brain, however, pours oil on the sparks rather than water.  But that's what some personality types (me included) do when trouble rears its head we make it ten times worse by our thoughts.  Imagination is a weird and wonderful thing.  

The author writes so that the reader can 'see' the characters, smell them, like them or loathe them as each scene unfolds.  I read quicker then I normally do, entangled in the mind games and topsy turvy way the story gripped me.  Reaching the end, I was holding my breath and closing the covers the words 'Bloody Brilliant' came to mind.  I again put my palms on the covers noting the black and white and tinges of red.  There is a moral to this novel - see if you can find it.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ.......  5 stars Kelly Florentia.

LISTEN

Last week, trending on social media was #TalkitOut #MentalHealthAwarenessDay.  In response I am writing about the other important side - that of being heard, truly heard, which means someone taking the time to focus totally on the talker.  We are all guilty of not doing this.  How often are we working and listening; on a mobile phone or tablet and listening; thinking of what to have for dinner or cooking and listening, tv is on and someone walks in and wants to talk - do you turn if off, pause it or record what you are watching to give the speaker your full attention?

The therapeutic affect of being TRULY listened to goes mostly unspoken but its value should not be undervalued - it can be a life changer.

What do I mean by being TRULY listened to?  Don't we all listen every day and hear how old Mrs Jones down the road is today; what the news is reporting from our tv screens; what the boss wants and how our family and friends are?  We may think we have heard fully and respond accordingly but have we FULLY heard or are we assuming, not understanding but putting our own interpretation on the situation?  Did we enter the speaker's world as they spoke?  What is this illness or difficult situation like for them; what are they really asking us to do, are they asking us to do anything at all, are they 'off loading' or not making clear what they really need?  

As the listener have we given the speaker our full attention?  I guess there are a lot of times that the answer will be No because we are very busy people, we have stuff of our own going on in our heads, we haven't been trained to do this most valuable job of TRULY listening.

Listening is not just about hearing words, although this is, of course, vital.  Our ears are not our only listening equipment - our eyes listen too.  They see facial expressions and sadness, pain or anger in the speakers eyes.  Fidgeting and other body language informs the listener how the speaker is at this time of talking.  Are they comfortable or uncomfortable, is there an urgency in their tone or voice; are they struggling to get what they want to say out; are they looking at you or avoiding meeting your eyes?  These things tell the listener if you are to be trusted or whether the talker is in agony with shame, mistrust, feeling helpless, grieved, hurt or lost.  Will you give them advice or dismiss what they say as wrong/nonsense or encourage them to say more/explain further?  

Sometimes help is being asked for; other times its about saying thoughts out aloud that helps to untangle a confusion, clarify and move them forward.

Things to look for, especially if you feel the talker is in a very low mood or constantly tearful

• Is their appearance clean ie. clothes, hair etc?
• Are they sleeping alright?
• Are they taking prescribed medication?
• Are they comfort eating or smoking excessively, over consuming alcohol, gambling etc?
• Are there signs of self-harming or not wanting to eat?

There is a lot more to 'listening' than most of us are aware of and to be truly attentive to the person speaking takes a lot of effort.  We have to put aside our own stuff that fills our heads and time.  We have to have a level of compassion, if not total empathy with the speaker, in short we need to love people, value them as unique and precious people.

Being truly listened to gives the speaker WORTH.  They know when someone they are speaking to is pre-occupied or right there with them.  They know whether they are being understood or whether the listener thinks they know better and give off vibes of 'pull yourself together'.  The listeners body language is important too.

As a trained and experienced counsellor, now retired, I have seen lives blossom like flower buds opening before my eyes.  People I have sat with have changed from insecure human beings to determined and more confident people; I have witnessed grief to the depth of the person wanting to die too and then heard how they have made small steps into living a full life again.  It has been an immense privilege to hear the stories of souls in this way and to journey the process of change alongside them.

Counselling training and practice gave me skills that have served me well, not only as a listener but in my own life too.

If you have need to be truly heard I recommend person-centred counselling.  You can access a local counsellor via the BACP or Counselling Directory websites.

HACKED OFF!

This blog is about being HACKED.  I post it to a) warn you, dear readers, of Internet scammers and b) to draw a line under the whole experience.

I was just ending a two hour stint of working on editing my novel when a grey box covered my work on the screen. (I always 'back up' my work on a data stick but had not yet had chance to).  At the top the words 'Microsoft Security Alert' drew my attention to read the contents of the grey box which was telling me not to close down my computer as I would loose all my files due to insufficient virus protection (or words to that effect).  There was then a full screen telephone number to ring and a voice urging me to 'ring this number'.  I debated my options : close the computer down and potentially loose all my work or call the number hoping it wasn't a scam.

I pride myself with being computer savvy for an 'old 'un' but in the moment with the options and knowledge that either way my computer was needing attention.  Being of a secretarial background I got pen and paper ready and wrote down the phone number and things that were happening as I rang the number.  (Missed Clue 1 - underneath the number were the words (Free Toll)).  An Asian voice answered the call, was very polite and asked me to press the Windows key + R which I did and it gave him access to my computer which then proceeded to do what I was lead to believe was a diagnostic report - the screen was going crazy with data.  I asked if this was a free service from Microsoft and he replied I would get a report at the end.  I thought I would make a decision of what the next step was when this report was given.  (Missed Clue 2 - I was asked if I had ever been hacked before, replying 'no' probably indicated I was naïve).  I was given a customer reference number and it all looked very convincing of being from Microsoft.  (Missed Clue 3 - The 'windows' logo was blue not the four primary colours of the Windows symbol).

I was informed that the computer needed spyware/riskware and he seemed to install an Advance Identity Protector saying it was Support & Firewall Security (still showing Microsoft).  When he said I could pay 1 year's cover for $199.99; 2 years $299.99 or a lifetime payment of $499.99 I said I couldn't afford it.  I was now feeling well and truly taken for a ride.  He again pressed for payment and I again said I couldn't afford it.  He then got 'narky' and said I may as well throw the computer out the window, to which I replied, "well I'll just have to do that then".  I ended the phone call and closed down the computer, rang my computer fixer and arranged to take it for his expert advice.

I was cross, with myself, with him, with the now defunct computer and all it held dear to me - photos, on-line banking, my novel of 100,000 words.  I stomped about the house feeling violated.  It felt like someone had got inside my head and manipulated my thinking; I vowed to go back to using a typewriter!  The internet is a corrupt place.  As I relayed the occurrence to loved ones, it made me feel sick.  Thankfully they were very understanding and told me it can happen to anyone - large companies like banks and NHS have been subject to hackers.  What happens to these hackers?  Do they get away with it?

I now know that the phone number was an unregistered one - my daughter looked it up on her IPhone (I was unaware you could do this) and I changed my bank PIN and Microsoft Password, but she assured me that he didn't get what he wanted and would have moved onto the next unsuspecting person or company.

I was 5 days without my left arm that is my laptop, wondering if my computer man would be able to fix the problem.  He reinstalled Windows 10 and copied data over to its new home inside my laptop, behind a screen that looks slightly different and things rearranged but all present, thankfully.  He charged a reasonable sum and my life is restored.  I will maintain my 'never buy anything at the door, over the phone or on the internet that I didn't ask for' policy but the older I get the more nerve wracking this experience seems to be.  Be aware readers, think carefully, think wisely.

Charities

Over the years I haven't recorded the charities I have supported and wish now that I had.  There are so many of them aren't there?  How do we chose who to support/give to, or not?  You will no doubt have your favourites or perhaps you just give to one?  With so many organisations, national and international concerns it is harder than ever to ignore - Children in Need, Save our Soldiers, Movember, Cancer Research, WWF, Dogs Trust, Lifeboat trust, British Heart Foundation etc etc etc.  I started young - no other member of my family were examples for me, but as a teenager I did a sponsored walk around Birmingham followed by voluntary work for under-privileged children.  Like many at school in the 1960's I collected silver foil bottle tops for guide dogs for the blind and put pennies in Sunny Smiles envelopes for children in need.

I have worked for, and volunteered for, various charities alongside full time employment.  Charities are part of my life.  I have walked the Race for Life a few times, watched my daughter jump out of a plane/sky dive for charity, supported TLM (The Leprosy Mission for nearly 40 years) and put on events at home to raise funds for the local hospice.  This year I had a deeply personal reason to be raising funds for Breast Cancer Now having been involved with my daughter's journey from diagnosis to recovery from breast cancer. 

Working as a team we raised, with gift aided donations too, over £1,000. The event was amazing - cakes were made and sold; paintings, cards and other craft items were on stalls, a tombola, homemade wine, a chocolate fountain and lovely coffees were all enjoyed by those who attended.

 

   It is my hope that the funds raised will help researchers find new drugs in the not too distant future that will eradicate the need for chemotherapy and radiotherapy after surgical removal of cancers. 

Two charities I had not heard of before needs to be mentioned in this blog.  The first was an afternoon of pampering offered by LOOK GOOD, FEEL BETTER.  A team of beauticians helped teach ladies who had lost hair, eye brows, eye lashes etc to use make-up to its full potential.  They were given a gift bag of various brands of skin cleanser and toner, eye shadow, liner, mascara, lipstick, foundation, power etc etc after the demonstration and practise.  Do look them up if you know someone who has had any form of cancer - they do support men too.

The other charity I can't praise high enough is the WILLOW FOUNDATION who support people with cancer up to the age of 40, with a Treat Day.  They were so caring, fabulously organised with a folder of rail tickets, schedule for the day, directions to the chosen venue and payment card for the treat.  My daughter chose to share her day with her parents and as a family we had a wonderful fine dining experience in Birmingham. 

 

 Again do look them up if you know someone who could do with a joyous pick-me-up during or after the long haul of facing consultants, doctors, nurses, surgeons, oncologists, radiotherapist, chemo therapists etc etc.  The paperwork hospitals give to patients for information and form filling can be overwhelming but Willow Foundation have one simple form that just needs your GP's signature or other professional and very little else.  Just choose something nice to have a lovely memory making day.

 

I hope you found this blog interesting, if not useful.  Do leave a comment below or tweet me on Twitter @tweetsue13.



Tea & Chemo

BOOK REVIEW

I feel like Jackie Buxton is a part of my life.  This last year I have dipped in and out of her best selling, award winning book; listened to her radio broadcast; followed and communicated with her on Twitter.  What a lovely and remarkable lady.  I think that of all women going through breast cancer treatments and about others that have had other life changing health issues.  We woman are NEVER the weaker sex.  Men I know too have endured stem cell treatment, liver, prostate or bowel operations, radio and chemotherapy.  They bravely fight back when cancer attacks.

 

Tea & Chemo has been my bible for 2017.  I needed to know stuff I’d rather not know - stuff I didn’t want to ask anybody about but needed to be informed.  In other situations I have always turned to books and when some kind young man gave my daughter a copy of Tea & Chemo, I promptly ordered it as well.

 

I read a chapter at a time, finding out what I needed to know to support my daughter in the process of BC.  You will probably have read Breast Cancer for BC but for me BC equals B***ard Cancer.  Anyone who has been affected by others close to them having the most dreaded disease will understand. 

 

The book is written in a positive light although not hiding the truth of the awfulness either.  It is one woman’s story, one woman’s experience and yet there are many common elements to all breast cancer survivors’ stories.  Yes, I know others stories too.  My friends are 15, 13, 3 and 2 years down the line but I wasn’t involved in their journey like I was with my daughter.
 

I felt Jackie was writing like my daughter would, with positivity and humour.  How I wished I had the gift of humour in such dire times, I think my chuckle went out of the window at the first hurdle.  This book lightened the load.  It was affirming that all would be well.  It reassured me that someone else knew exactly what was happening, someone who was indeed ‘holding my hand’ through the process.

 
As the ‘dust’ settles in the ‘after treatment’ phase I intend to dip in again because although I want to put the experience behind me I don’t want to loose the gems that were hidden in the fog of my brain through the first reading. 

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book for anyone going through Breast Cancer treatments, anyone who is married to, parent of, best friend of, work colleague etc.  Don’t go to the internet as is so easy to do these days but sit with a cup of tea or coffee and be still and calm to read it.  My guess is you will not manage it all in one sitting; if you are closely involved with someone going through it you will not be emotionally strong some of the time and the words will just be a blur on the page but when you have time, read, digest and learn so that your loved one, friend, colleague can draw reassurance from your knowledge and understanding.  Buy them the book – there will be plenty of ‘stay in bed’ days for them to dip into it too.

Well done Jackie.  Keep fighting the good fight with all your might, and with a brilliantly positive attitude and good humour.   If there is to be a follow-on book I’m sure that will be a huge success too.

 

Footnote : if you have read this review you may like to scroll down to the next one as it relates to the subject matter - Split Second by Sharon Rose is a play about how life can change in just a moment.

Split Second

Split Second – A Review

No it’s not the title of a book, but rather it is a stage play, written and presented by Sharon Rose.  If you have read other blogs I have written, you will see she has written four books about her journey through breast cancer, sepsis and other life’s tragic events, scroll down to Thorns of a Rose 22.4.17.

I was so thrilled when Sharon asked me to attend/review the play held in a local High School hall.  The day arrived and I was so excited for Sharon.  Writing and publishing memoirs and supporting local charities is one thing, but staging a play is taking her story to a whole new level.  Sharon has proved that if you want to make dreams come true just keep on working towards them and sure enough it will happen.

The music started and the salsa dancers, dressed in black and red sashayed around the stage with the backdrop of Blackpool Salsa Weekend, Feb 2015.  We were soon then into a family life scene which portrayed mental and physical abuse and the first reference to the charity ‘Pathways’ (a local supporting agency for those experiencing domestic violence).  The scene quickly changes from normal daily household life – kids and mum doing their own thing – to a visit from an angry, controlling man (ex husband/child’s father).  It makes shocking viewing but highlights our need to be aware that this sort of relationship is a ‘normal’ part of existence in some households.

Back to the Salsa class and the audience began to laugh.  Being a beginner and meeting different members of the group the leading lady, Becky Easen as Lucy, is soon in the arms of a ‘show off’ and ‘daddy dancer’ and she was having trouble with knowing her left from right.

Scene changes were effortless and with minimal props one quickly knew where we were next.  Lucy was a Health Visitor, stressed out in the baby clinic with the workload and facing cut-backs in the service.  Another scene and we were in Magaluf on the beach and at the airport which afforded the audience more giggles.   

A ticking clock featured several times throughout the production and also projector pictures on the screen behind the actors helping us to know the year and be aware of how precious time is.  This is a quote that was screened early on:

Not only were the cast giving their time freely but without realising it they probably didn’t bargain for the feeling of great elation at their first efforts of performance, whether it be in acting, dancing, singing, stage hand or showing the audience to their seats.  Sharon, will no doubt have set many on a road of self-discovery, be it empathy for the tragic circumstances of the story, performing ballet, playing the guitar, singing either alone or in a choir.  I was struck by the many talents before me.  The young girl named Summer who danced to a recording of Barbra Streisand – Papa can you hear me (from Yentl) must have melted many a heart with her beauty and suppleness and again later in her second solo dance.  Ali Gilbert, Sharon’s son, is also very talented playing the guitar and singing equal to that of an X Factor winner, and the ladies choir and soloist young Jenny in a red dress all all added beauty and uplifted our spirits.

Messages regarding the urgency of treatment for SEPSIS and the scariness of being treated for CANCER would have, I am sure, resonated with members of the audience who may have encountered these dreaded illnesses either for themselves or someone they care for.

The words of the final song “Even if we can’t find heaven, I’ll walk through hell with you, I’ll stand by you, you are not alone…” really got me.  When we are ill it may feel like we are very alone, but as cast members joined the choir to fill the stage it made you realise there are loads of people pulling you through – doctors, nurses, friends, colleagues, family, charitable organisations, hobby groups etc. 

The event raised over £1,600 for sharing between local and national charities.  Sharon said I was there to ‘critique’ the show but there is no criticism to be found.  I am just full of admiration and feel that this show should be repeated, perhaps in another part of town, neighbouring towns etc.  The messages are clear – there is help out there; also you can have fun dancing, singing, writing or whatever your passion or hobby is as well as endure life’s scary moments; do what you can when you can.  TIME is precious, use it wisely and fully because in a Split Second life as you know it can change.

White Lies and Wishes

☆☆☆☆☆

BOOK REVIEW BLOG :

As you know if you have read my other blogs I am an avid reader and love a good book.  I also run a Readers & Writers group (see Facebook: Readers & Writers, Tamworth).  We listen to authors and learn about their journey to publication and then we eat cake, drink coffee and chat about our latest reads. 

I have just finished White Lies and Wishes by Cathy Bramley (having previously read Wickham Hall and loved that too).  I feel sure every reader will connect with the three main characters in this tale of making dreams come true.  It is about the journey and process that goes on in many a person's life when you set yourself a goal.  It seems inevitable that obstacles, negative thinking and/or other people, test your grit and determination.

The friendship of the 3 women develops after meeting at a funeral, although with very different characters they encounter some tensions and misgivings.

Carrie is my favourite character as I have more than one friend who struggle with weight and body image issues.  Even those who don't over-eat will recognise some of Carrie's patterns of behaviour; her self comforting; self put-downs, self degrading activities.

For working mothers you will empathise with Sarah and stay at home dad, Dave.  And for the ambitious, Jo's single and sacrificial life tells of the stress of parent-pleasing over one's own happiness.

Conquering her fear of heights Jo brings the story to a wonderful end.  Although the Wishes have twists and turns, all 3 women have life changing experiences that leave the reader on a high - almost as high as the Empire State Building.

The 86th FLOOR!!!!!  No way.  I can't say I am frightened of heights but a recurring dream of going up in a lift that high, then waking up before it reaches its destination in a hot sweat, obviously has me panicking at the thought.  The highest I have been in London and Athens is the 14th floor and that was well high enough for me thank you.

Well done Cathy Bramley - an excellent 5* read.  Ps.  Since publishing this blog I can now say I have been on the 25th floor of a building.  Who knows maybe I'll reach dizzier heights soon!

Teenagers, Sisters, Holiday in France, Chocolate, Helicopter Pilot...

What have these got in common?  Well they all feature in my latest read -

 

 



If you like reading contemporary family dramas you will love this book.  Set in France, Leah finds her sisterly love lands her in family life up to her neck.  Being Aunt to two moody teenagers; neighbour to a divorced helicopter pilot recovering from a crash, with his teenage Goth son; sister and sister-in-law to a separating couple is a far cry from her single, carefree life back in the UK.  The comings and goings of the gîte turns into a catalogue of happenings akin to a nightmare.  Yet there is still room for love.

 

Sue Moorcroft writes with great attention to detail – her research is outlined at the conclusion of the novel – regarding the helicopter pilot, entering a world of a career most of us would have no knowledge of.  She obviously has experience too of ‘teen speak’ with gaming terminology and colloquiums reserved for those precious years when language has not met maturity.  Chocolate and quick nourishing meals feature too – I would love to research these!

 

Excellent writing style makes the sex scenes (yes, there are a few) delicate, not sordid; hot without crudeness; erotic without lurid words; passionate and pleasing.  The moments were brief but meaningful.  However, frustration and confusion to the characters follows each occasion so not lovey dovey romance but making Leah assess what she wants from life.

 

When I reached the final paragraph of page 267 I actually said “Wow” out aloud.  It stood out for me as exquisite writing.  I had to put the book down to reflect for a moment.  It left me questioning my ability to ever be a published author as I must have had my ‘writer’ head on, not my ‘reader’ head whist living in the complexity of the holidaying family lives.  Here there was a build up, an explosion and an aftermath all in one paragraph and following sentence.  I could quote it here but, out of context, it would not have the same impact.  You will need to read or have read the book to know what I mean.

 

Having met Sue Moorcroft a few times, sat with her at Swanwick Writers Summer School and learnt from her teachings on novel writing, I hold her in high esteem.  She conveys her techniques of novel writing, and her work as a novelist, on a level I ‘get’.  She is a lovely lady with extra-ordinary skill and passion for her work.  One I aspire to be like.  One that champions me on.

The 'bar' at Swanwick was a great meeting place

So, back to the book – the ending is emotionally charged so hankies at the ready.  I didn’t want it to end but was certainly left flying high.  Would I recommend it? -  Yes, most definitely.  How do I rate it – 5*.  Well done Sue Moorcroft, can you write a sequel please? I want to know how Leah and Ronan and all the family go on from here!

Swanwick 2017

 

How hard it is to capture the essence of a wonderful week away mixing with 285 fellow writers!  To simply say that my second visit to Swanwick Writers Summer School, held at The Hayes Conference Centre, Derby, was 'fabulous' tells you one word and no flavour.  If I were to give you a moment by moment detailed report you would be bored, unless you are another writer!  So try to imagine being a child in a sweet shop or toy shop where there is so much to choose from and you want it all.  This was what it feels like opening the programme and selecting which workshops and courses you will attend.  There is something for every genre - short stories, fiction, crime writing, page to stage, poetry etc etc. 

I paced myself better this year and was able to enjoy 'time out' too.  The nature in and around The Hayes enhances the experience offering tantalising colours, lush grassed areas where cows graze and undulating lawns outside the vast buildings that make up the accommodation, dining halls, chapel, teaching rooms and staged hall.  There is only one thing missing, for me, a swimming pool.  I first went to The Hayes some 40 years ago when summers were hot and outdoor bathing could be enjoyed in the place where there is now a prayer labyrinth, which as lovely as this is and well situation by the chapel, a wee dip would have been a bonus.

This year I booked myself in for a 1-1 with author, Della Galton.  She gave me rich advice, tips and encouragement for my novel in progress which I will action with grateful thanks.  I am also grateful to fiction writer, Sue Moorcroft for making me realise I am investing valuable TIME and MONEY into the dream that I hope will become a reality - my own published novel or three.  Lucy Felthouse gave an up to date presentation of marketing and promotions and I enjoyed chatting with both Lucy and Sue at dinner or in the bar.

I was also befriended by 3 lovely ladies who were white badgers (wearing white badges denotes that they are first timers) and we had many a laugh over dinner and felt totally at ease with one another in a very short time.  New friendships are formed at Swanwick, I missed Karen Botha from last year, and was amazed at who remembered me from the 68th SWSS.  I guess next year, being a 70th year, will be extra special.  It was nice too to meet fellow Tweeters and Facebook users, putting faces and character to a Twitter picture is very satisfying.

I can't end without mentioning the Unwind your Mind course.  It did what it said on the tin.  Stillness in a busy day, movement to stretch and revitalise your body - mindfulness, Thai Chi and free dancing to music that moves the soul.  Thank you Zana.

The last evening with awards and entertainment sends us off with a resolve - I will write 500 words and I will write 500 more....  sang with gusto.  I can not recommend Swanwick Writers Summer School highly enough.  It brings out the best in the shy, the depressed, the doubter, the underachiever, the ill, the old, the young and all ages, abilities and disabilities in between.  I'll be going again God willing.  For more information go to www.swanwickwriterssummerschool.org.uk

In the Summer Time

 

Published by Black Swan, part of Transworld/Random House Group

 

Reconnecting with a holiday village after 20 years Miranda, her family, a friend and ex boyfriends find that not much has changed - only life happened in the intervening years.  It is a story of intrigue, family fun, secrets, sorrows and love.  Three generations spend time away from the city, peer groups and job pressures to give Jack a final farewell.  The scenery of the beach, country lanes, local stores and rental cottage with pool are all very vivid.

 

If you have ever been to Cornwall you will remember the pace of life there, names of places and images your mind brings forth as you read.  I was thrilled that TRAGO MILLS was mentioned as that shopping complex brings fond memories from my teenage years (over 40 years ago!).

 

I love the cover - anything with beach huts will always appeal to me as they are so British and attractive - these painted candy pink and a hint of pale blue.  Beach huts for me are landmarks of holidays on the coasts of our shores that will never be forgotten.

 

Well done Judy Astley.