Mother's Day

 You are like a Mum to me.....

My Mum died aged 47.  I was newly married and my youngest sibling, my sister only just at school.  40 years have gone by and each year the anniversary of her death, her birthday and Mother's day bring the same longing of the heart.  We have children of our own and they see us as Mum and the plentiful cards and gifts in the shops no doubt will pull on their heart strings and we will gladly receive a card and a gift or bunch of flowers from them.  We do our best to enjoy a day that is both sad and then happy with our own children.

Over that time, I have been lucky enough to have had mother-substitutes in my life.  A mother-in-law, Aunty Greta and Aunty Daisy.  My mother-in-law had three sons and so was not used to the ways of girls around her but I loved her and cared for her in her last days.  Aunty Greta was a very special lady - she didn't have any children of her own and took me and mine on as her 'kids'.  She lavished our daughter with things we couldn't afford and we all had a very special bond with this lovely lady who died many years ago too.

But Aunty Daisy has been something else.  She is Godmother to myself and my sister.  She was my mother's best friend, they met in their first job after school and remained friends until my mother died.  Daisy is not a blood relative but has taken that friendship and commitment as Godmother to the maximum benefit of us all.  She has one daughter but took all four of my mother's children under her wing when my dad grieved and then found a new wife.  She always speaks well of my brothers even though they have caused her some angst; she never complains about her neighbours becoming increasingly from other countries and cultures.  She sees the best in everyone.  She is a woman of great, yet simplistic faith.  She incorporates positivity, laughter and faith into each sentence, every day.  Her favourite saying is 'that's just the way it is'.  Acceptance. 

Over the years she has loved and lost a lot of people, sisters, husband, friends.  She has drunk tea like a true Brit.  Put the kettle on at every opportunity, it has been her tipple in times of joy and in times of sorrow.  I can't imagine my life without her in it.  She is 86 and has terminal cancer.  We don't know when that hour will come but this will probably be the last Mother's Day when I can give her a card that says 'you've been like a mother to me' and thank her for the love, laughter and memories we have.

No matter how old we grown up children are, there are always times when you wish your mother was still there.  They are the anchor of any family, the role model, the care giver.  Aunty Daisy is finding it hard to accept receiving care now as she has nurtured, loved and cared for so many in her lifetime.

Time is precious.  Tell those in your life what they mean to you because you never know what life has in store.  Happy Mothers Day to mother's everywhere, to those who are like a mother to others, and to those who are not mother's through choice or circumstances - may you be blessed with such good friends that you feel grateful, loved and secure anyway.