60 day challenge

It was empty, the Diet Coke can with 'Sis' on the side.  It was passed across the table in a jovial moment.  Nothing was said about a challenge but the mere presence of a slimmer sister and her achievement triggered my brain to set myself this challenge.

I have never 'dieted' in my life.  To be fair, my friends would all say I have never needed to.  But in my 59th year my 'Biafran' style pot belly bothers me.  Clothes go someway to disguise the pregnancy look but at the swimming baths, or in other relaxed moments I catch sight of the protrusion in a mirror and have thought 1,000 times or more, "I must do something about it."  Then follow the very clever stumbling block thoughts: "I haven't time", "Everyone your age has a tum", "you're not overweight", "it's not too bad" etc etc etc.  Instead of following an organised eating plan I will cut things out of my foody habits for a while, have a smaller portion and stop nibbling between meals but it never quite cuts it.  And I doubt an organised diet will too.  I have been the same weight for such a long time - it never goes up or down.

For the past 4 weeks I have cut out bread from my diet (oh there's that 'D' word) and to my surprise I have lost 3kg.  Can it be true, I must check it out on the scales at the gym?  Yes, I do go there regularly, once a week for a short workout followed by a leisurely swim.  I kid myself that this is exercise.  I don't even get a sweat on!  I tell myself I am doing something, which is better than nothing, but it's really time I took it a bit more seriously.  I enjoy the leisure centre and hopefully with forthcoming retirement I can up the stakes and go twice a week at least!

Yes I'm soon to be 60.  Hence the 60 day challenge - EAT properly and WRITE daily are to be my top two priorities.  So watch this space for how I get on, I hope it will be fun as well as a trial.  I also hope it will be a new chapter in my life, one where I do what I've wanted to do for so long - get a book published.  And who knows I might get a flatter tum!  Start date : 2.9.14 (well you don't start on a Monday so I'm told.  I will use the 1st to get a stock of 'right foods').

A Piece of Cake....

A PIECE OF CAKE.....

is an expression referring to something that was easy.  It was not easy to bake or have my Victoria Sandwich judged and disqualified.

I had always vowed that I would not join a Mother's Union or Women's Institute group, branding it for 'old' ladies.  However, a dear friend persuaded me and I attended a few WI meetings where I found the talks to be very interesting and not all about Jam or Jerusalem.  They put on a mean spread for supper too.  So all good so far!  The ladies who attend are mostly of a certain age and set into some old fashioned ways but welcoming and obviously proud of all their achievements winning competitions and trophies both locally and regionally for all types of crafts and skills.

So, although not being a competent baker, when the gauntlet was thrown down to bake a Victoria Sandwich, I told myself it was time to be more involved.  "It's the taking part that counts," I told myself.   As the competition was to win a new trophy in honour of a recently deceased member who I had known for sometime, I 'did it for her' so to speak.

I followed the recipe, torn from a woman's magazine, to the 'T' and took all morning to produce what I thought was a fantastic result.  Each layer of the sponge turned out about 2" in depth, well cooked with no 'soggy bottom'.  I smeared one sponge with a good lashing of strawberry jam and the other with vanilla flavoured butter cream.  Getting them together was tricky but successful so I finished off with a good sprinkling of icing sugar. 

Thinking the judge would be phased with a dozen or more cakes that all looked the same I set mine apart by placing some strawberries around the edge of the cake stand and tied a bit of red ribbon around my cake slice.  Entry complete.

Before I had time to step away from the table my hopes were dashed.  I received the comment that it would be disqualified as it had butter cream in.  It was also rejected for having icing sugar on top not caster sugar!

When the winner was announced I clapped and smiled.  I was not a happy bunny, 4th place at least would have been good but 'disqualified' made me want to frown, push out my lower lip and sulk.  There had been no specification sheet, NO ONE SAID THERE WAS ONE PROPER WAY!

I can laugh at this experience now the last slice is awaiting to be eaten. I was extremely pleased with how it looked.  It may be a very long time before I enter anything again, but it sure did taste HEAVENLY.

 RIP - Jo



 

Cups, Mugs and Glasses

Are you a china cup person or do you prefer a mug of tea?  China tea sets seem to be slipping away into the distant past when they were used regularly for afternoon tea.  Perhaps your mother treasured one which was housed in a cabinet or 'tall boy' with glass doors.  The 'China Cabinet' would only be opened on special occasions or when certain visitors arrived - Great Auntie Nancy, Nan or Mrs N. from No. 5?  Working class people used pottery cups and saucers - the shape and feel to the lips of which were totally different to the 'best' cups.  Then came the mugs and teabags to replace teapots, loose tea and tea strainers.

 

Do you type-cast the mugs in your home?  Do you have thick set builder's mugs, men's mugs, kiddies mugs, china mugs for mum and a set of mugs that cousin Jane gave you for Christmas many years ago, that do for all?  Do you use, for yourself, one type of mug for your early morning cuppa and another for your elevenses?  One for tea and another for coffee?  What about that soothing hot chocolate drink - is that in a chunky thick rimmed mug - one you can wrap your hands around on a cold evening; or the purple one that reminds you of a certain chocolate brand?  Did your Dad have a tin mug and plate he used for work - painted white with a blue or black rim?  Well used ones would have chipped paint, showing more black or even the silver of the metal underneath.  And why do they give old people in hospital or nursing homes plastic mugs of tea?  What does that do for the flavour and experience of the thirst quenching drink?

 

With the dawning of new ways of serving coffee in coffee shops, so too came new shapes of cups and glass containers - latte and frappe 'mugs'.  Does your town centre favour coffee shops over 'Tea Rooms?'  Remember 'Lyons'?  Tea Shops are more likely to be found in country villages and how we love to visit them and see the china cups again being served with cakes and scones on cake stands and doilies.  "How quaint," we say.

 





 

Do you remember Corona fizzy pop, delivered to your door and poured into a moderate sized glass?  Pop was certainly a welcome change from orange squash.  Children delighted to see the array of coloured bubbly drinks at party times.  School friends would gather around the table laden with rabbit shaped blamonge and greengage jelly, jam tarts and a block of Neapolitan ice-cream with wafers waiting to be served after the consumption of sandwiches and crisps.  If the grown-ups were out of the room, mixing the fizzy drinks was such fun.  Whatever happened to Dandelion and Burdock?  Cola and Lemonade seem to be stocked in abundance now on supermarket shelves but the green colour of lemon and lime or the red of cherryade is harder to find.

 

Are your soft drink vessels called 'Glasses' (as in 'asses') or 'Glasses' (as in 'arses' - excuse me!).  Do you prefer tall thin edged ones or stouter chunky ones.  Do you choose one sort for having a glass of water and another for your evening alcoholic tipple?  Do men prefer a beer glass with a handle or a half pint straight glass embellished with a logo?  Does the thickness of the glass have any bearing to the taste of their drink of larger, Guinness or mild brew?  Does anyone still use tankards?  What sort of glass holds the 'hard stuff' or is a tot of whiskey, rum or brandy another fading older person's tradition?

 

Whatever your drinking vessel, just take a minute to think about it; pop down memory lane in comparison and appreciate your cup, mug or glass of today.  Cheers!

BABY SHOWER

PINK FOR A GIRL.....

Favour Boxes - a little 'thank you' for those who attended.

 

Baby feet cookies; pink lemonade & rose spritzer; ready to pop/popcorn

 

I attended my first Baby Shower party recently.  My daughter and I gave it a real 'home made' feel with creations we found on Pinterest.  The Mum-to-be was surprised on a Saturday evening when she was feeling a little fed up (9 months is a long time to wait) and her friends 'showered' her with gifts for the baby.  Knowing the baby was to be a girl made buying gifts easier and all the guests 'oooooooh'd' and 'aaaarrrr'd' at each little dress or toy that was opened.  'Guess the date and time of birth'  was played along with one or two other party games.  A good time was had by all.

 

 

I shared my lovely experience with others afterwards and noted their response.  Some where interested and others thought that it was just another idea come over from America for shopkeepers to make money out of.  Other gripes were 'what if it turns out not to be a girl?' and 'what if something goes wrong?'  Both of course were valid questions as partying before the birth is an upcoming trend. 

 

Traditions of not having a pram in the house until after the birth, seem to be lost.  Now the nursery is decorated well in advance.  The 'layette' is no longer hand-knitted booties and bonnets but named baby vests and  tiny designer trainers.  Themes of favourite Disney or television cartoon characters start the unborn off to a world of collecting the latest 'must-haves' and the equipment is doubled or trebled for two cars, places of care and holiday times.  It's all far more interesting and exciting than 35 years ago when yellow ducks floated in the bath and squeeky toys ended up in the dog's bed!

 

Whatever your view of pre-birth celebrations, if you have a baby due in the family, or friendship circle, soon why not try  making some hand-made gifts.  It is often the knitted teddy that baby favours most rather than the expensive red-ribboned dust collector that will end up sitting in a corner unloved.

 

An 'initial' picture for the nursery wall

 



A Walk in the Park

When stresses come, as they will, one way to tackle them is to take a walk in the park.  Being outdoors amongst nature is so calming.  You may, in your stressed state, think you do not have the time to spare to take time out but a diversion to busy-ness and tension pays dividends.

 

Noticing something new in the woods or sitting on a bench watching the swallows dip and dive for insects on the surface of a lake, is not a waste of time.  It calms the soul and lowers the blood pressure.  It gives space in your brain for clearer thoughts. 

 

 

The lapping of water is very relaxing, or watching clouds go by.  Noticing the butterflies, feeding the ducks and geese, slowing down, stepping aside from the troubles of life is good healthy practice. 

 

Changing your focus is not being selfish.  It is taking care of yourself.  Take your eyes and mind off the stresses and looking at nature is a relief; a breathing space in grief; an oasis in an otherwise dry and dusty place.  It is a free tonic.  Medication without prescription.  A walk in the park has rewards that can't be measured.  It helps after a sleepless night; it soothes a hurting heart; it unravells a myriad of thoughts; it refreshes and strengthens.

 

 

An expanse of water, sky, green fields, a river, or a park where others are having fun, can offer renewed vigour, solve problems, turn a soured heart softer, and give hope when you are feeling hopeless.  Those inner negative thoughts flee draining from the brain like melting snow.  A day can be brightened, transformed by just an hour or so out of your home, work or situation.  Try it today.  A walk in the park......... 





A Blooming Garden

 A BLOOMING GARDEN

 

 A Place to Work, Rest and Play.....

 "I find it hard to sit and do nothing," I hear you say.

 'Sitting' and 'doing nothing' is an oxymoron.

 'Sitting' is a 'doing' word.....

  Whilst sitting you may be :

• chatting with a friend
• reading
• people watching
• appreciating your surroundings
• noticing the plants
• listening to the birds or traffic
• drinking tea or ice cold lemonade
• watching the children play
• thinking
• feeding the ducks in a park
• waiting for the dentist or doctor
• healing after an operation
• resting after a days work

The list is exhaustive.  SITTING is NOT doing nothing.

When did you last sit in your garden or nearby park?  When the weather is bad we yearn for brighter days, so it is right and just that when sunny days are here we make the most of them and get outdoors.

The garden may be big or small but with a little effort, on cooler days, plants and ornaments can be acquired to personalise your space.  There is no need to spend a fortune - good gardening friends will give you cuttings if you ask; charity shop ornaments can be placed in your garden to create a theme or a handyman can make a bird table to enable feathered friends to visit and fascinate you.

 

Sitting a-while whilst everyone around you is scurrying about their business is very grounding.  It takes self-discipline and self-care to be able to do it without guilt.  That inner voice that says, 'I should be working, I should be doing something'.  Choose from the list above or give that inner voice another reason why 'sitting' is doing something.  Tell the 'should be' to shove off.  Right now is the time for being still.  Watching, waiting, gawking, appreciating.  This moment is soon gone.  Grab five minutes when you can and make it happen.  Sitting in your garden or nearby park will help you bloom too.

FOODIES....

It is a daily requirement of being alive - FOOD.  It is the bain of some people's lives - FOOD.  What to eat when and how much is sometimes a battle.  Do you eat because 'it's time' sticking to a routine of 3 meals a day?  Do you graze all day and evening?  Do you eat when you are hungry and don't eat when you are not?  Do you say 'I'm starving' when there is plenty of food in the fridge/cupboard? 

Where do our habits regarding nourishing our bodies come from?  Are they learnt behaviours - ie. doing what others around us are doing; doing what we have always done since we were a child; following instructions of a 'diet'?  Are these habits working for us; if not why not change your routine or how, when, what you eat?  Try something new/different.  Find what is right for you now regardless of what others are saying/doing - we all have unique individual food needs, likes etc.

It is proven that we eat to comfort ourselves when we are uncomfortable - hurt, angry, lonely etc.  It is a 'doing' activity that can take our minds off things we don't want to think about.   Why do we choose to eat when we could do so many other things to take our minds off boredom, stress, anxiety?  TASTE.  It looks good and it tastes good, so we feel good...??!!! Not always and often short lasting.

Here's some suggestions of alternative, non-addictive 'comforters':

• A warm hot water bottle
• Soft toy to cuddle
• Fleecy blanket
• A long hot soak in the bath
• A bunch of flowers (appeals to our sense of sight and smell)
• A good book
• A chat with a friend, either on the 'phone or in person
• A walk in the park
• Stoking the dog/cat/rabbit

What others can you think of?  Please let me know via the comments ...

CRAFT TIME - June 2013

A card with a difference...

This month SFS CRAFT TIME were again delighted with their creations.  A simple card, folded at the bottom to house a small packet of tissues, and decorated with die cut circles, little birds, swirls and flowers made a card into a gift as well.  Ideal for a 'thinking of you' when a friend goes into hospital or facing a tough time.

Next month we are off on our summer outing to Rosliston Forestry Centre where we will have a lesson in Kraftiz, Craft Shop followed by lunch in the nearby restaurant.

For further information about our Craft Group contact me : sue@soulfriendservices.com

BLOSSOM & BLUEBELLS

Springtime's beautiful array of colours and fragrants lift our spirits.  They can also evoke good childhood memories.  Perhaps you were one of the children who were allowed to pick bluebells from the wayside and woods before the ban and preservation order came into being?  A little hand wrapped around the green, sometimes slimey, stems would delight in stretching out to present mother or grandma with a free bunch of flowers.   An empty jam jar would be filled with tap water and put on the kitchen windowsill as a prized possession.  Their fragrance would fill the air for a few days longer.

Each year there are places near you to visit, often freely, to encounter the spectacular blue carpet in the woods.  It appeals to the child in us but also delights our adult eyes and nostrils.   Take photos of them as an alternative to being able pick them.  Or plant some in your own garden - they grow best in shaded areas. 

Our inner child's voice often goes unheard as many of us experienced the 'children should be seen and not heard' days.  Many a day was silently spent making daisy chains, rose petal perfumes and blossom confetti.  Nature was a playground and flowers were toys.  It kept us quiet for hours on end and out of the adults way.

Occasionally, it is good to be in touch with the child within and listen, as an adult, to what you were saying back then that no-one heard, even if you spoke the words.  Sometimes that inner voice gets louder and begs you to take notice.  It asks you to do something different - to be kinder to yourself, to speak it out again now, to let go of unhelpful learnt behaviours and troubling thoughts.  What delighted you back then is good to revisit and perhaps start a hobby of - making things, drawing or painting, writing or train spotting, skipping, roller skating, cricket, or hula hooping.  It is a shame to leave these treasures behind; they served us well with exercise and creativity.

Yes, there are good memories and not so good memories, for some terrible memories that have been boxed up in the brain with the lid shut tight.  But as the media tells us these too have a way of nudging people into action to resolve issues, right some wrongs, and experience another way of being.  If you are seeking to sort out your head and to be as carefree as a child in a bluebell woods, do seek a counsellor to journey with you.  Feel the release from those unspeakable words being out in the open in a safe environment, it could possibly be a first step for you to grow into the adult you were meant to be rather than the one you are.

DON'T BOTTLE IT......

Bottling things up is storing trouble for later.....

We often ignore, dismiss or actively put a lid on uncomfortable feelings in order to get on with life.  Hurts, disappointments, grief, loss, anger, abuse, bullying, injustices etc. can all get 'stuffed down' inside with the flippant thought that they will go away.  But disappear they do not. 

For some exploding like a champagne bottle, when further hard times come, will occur.  Out it all flows - anger, frustrations, accusations, blame, swear words.... uncontrollably spilling out onto loved ones, friends, work colleagues or whoever is nearest at the time.  Not pleasant for all involved and, although it can clear out some of the bad taste it was having on your life, it now affects others too.

Bottling it up can cause illnesses too.  Stomach pains, loss or gain of appetite, tightened muscles, headache or migraine, bladder and/or bowel problems etc.  It stands to reason that bad stuff kept inside tries to get out, either by illness or leaking out in sarcastic snipes, niggles or bursts of anger.

So if this has been your life's pattern it may be time to try something different in resolving unpleasant feelings.  Here are a few suggestions :

• Saying "that hurt" at the time rather than storing it up will lessen its hold on you. Bottling it will cause it grow into something bigger, making you bitter and unhappy.   Dealing calmly with it as soon as possible will be 'out' of you rather than festering inside.
• Talking the situation over with a close, trusted friend or partner. 
• Writing in a journal for it to be 'out of your head' and onto paper.  You can destroy the paper in a therapeutic act of 'getting rid' of it.
• Doing something very physical to relieve tension ie. gardening, running, crafts or hobbies.  Thumping cushions, pillows, punch bag in a safe environment.
• Remember this acronym - F.O.E. - Feel it, Own it, Express it.
• See a counsellor for support and encouragement in learning this new skill if you find it too hard to try alone. 

So rather than bottling it, let it out in a way best for you and get rid.  Bad feelings = bad thoughts=lowering of mood=illness, depression, low self image.  Own those feelings - 'yes I feel angry' - then ask yourself how you will channel that anger safely; how will I deal with this hurt?  Positive action = positive thoughts = better mood = keeping a more balance life.

Perhaps you have other coping strategies to share?  Do comment below....

CRAFTY ladies ...

9.2.13 SFS CRAFT TIME saw us making greeting cards that were tea cup shaped.  They folded flat to fit into their envelopes but were so pretty with lace-like saucers which some decorated with 'bling', bows, butterflies and/or flowers.  The cups became ornate too.  Lots of 'oooohs', 'ahhh's' and "aren't they lovely" comments at the end of the session.

Two cards in one morning was quite an achievement.  The lilac, lacey, lovelies sported die-cut patterns which were also decorated with bling, flowers and butterflies.  One crafty lady is mad about butterflies, another is famous for her love of 'peel offs' and 'bling'; one was very happy with 'no cutting out'. 

The chocolate cake went down well too.  Yum.

Pesky gNATs...

Being human we tend to swat Gnats when they appear - those biting nuisance little flies that swarm around  us in summer.  We are quick with our hand, a rolled up newspaper or cloth, the plastic swatter or whatever is to hand.  We get rid of them with sprays, discourage them with special smelling candles, we wear ointments and lotions to protect ourselves.  They are not welcome, nor wanted.  We deal with them readily, naturally, instinctively or suffer the consequences of itchy skin where they have bitten us.  We dab ourselves with antiseptic lotion or cream until the bites heal, hopefully without scars.

But NATs reek havoc in our brains - buzzing about unwanted, multiplying out of control and leaving us to climb a very steep ladder to get out of a pit of despair.

These NATs are invisible - no-one else knows they are there - but you do.  These NATs are Negative Automatic Thoughts.  You may recognise some of these :

• I got that wrong
• I'm no good
• I'm a failure
• Nothing goes right for me
• I'm stupid
• I'm useless
• etc etc etc

If only we had natural instincts to swat these at their first appearance, we would save ourselves a lot of unhappiness.

Try these :
Swat 1 - engage an opposite thought as an attack ie. I'm no good (NAT) swap for I'm good at ......  I've got certificates/life experience to prove I'm not a failure.

Swat 2 - write down a list of your triumphs - things you have overcome, achieved or are proud of.  Pin it up where you can see it or put it in a place where you can easily access it when needed.  Read the list regularly.  Affirm yourself.

Swat 3 - Say out loud - STOP or GO AWAY - when NATs get to you.  Take control of your mind.  Your thoughts are your own - train them to behave!  Refuse NATs any head space.

Practise, Practise and Practise some more.  Exercise is not just physical, engage in mental exercise too. 

If the above does not work for you perhaps a distraction will.  When NATs start droning on in your head GET UP and do something different - go for a walk, tend the garden, do a hobby, read a book, watch a film.

Of course, these dratting nuisances know when to attack to get the most of NAT time - at night when all is quiet and dark.  You toss and turn but they will not go away.

Try this :

• sing a little ditty or favourite soft song over and over in your head only you will hear it but it drowns out those NATs.
• pop to the bathroom or make a warm drink.
• keep a notebook by the bed and write your NATs down - this way they are out of your head and on the paper.

Practise PATs - Positive Automatic Thinking.  PATting is so much more comforting and kinder to yourself.

If you have learnt ways to deal with NATs share them below in the comment box.

Cat Walkers .... meow ...

Have you ever noticed how some Cat Walkers/Fashion Models never smile.  What's this all about?  They look moody, unhappy, sullen, unapproachable...

Perhaps that's the success of the Duchess of Cambridge - her smile.  Maybe us ladies are
not so interested in the clothes when walking wardrobes strut their stuff on the catwalk, but, show us a natural beauty

with more affordable outfits, and we are instantly interested.

The fashion pages in some magazines - scowling, blank, emotionless heads on skeletal figures make me flick the page quickly.  In contrast other pages portray sunny beauties modelling spring handbags or office wear.  Much more pleasing to the eye and worth spending a little more time studying the clothes or accessories they are selling.

Surely it's worth a genuine smile to lure a buyer of your product?  Leave the pouting and scowling to WAG's of celebrities.  Do you agree?  Comments below.....

DARN IT!!

A few decades ago it was common practise for wives or mothers to repair socks when a hole appeared in the toe of their male relatives' socks.  It required special equipment: a wooden or melamine 'mushroom' shaped darning stool that went inside the sock; a large eyed needle; grey darning wool and a thimble.

Females learnt the skill from their mothers, perhaps by observation or learnt behaviour rather than a sit down spoken demonstration.  There were no questions about it being worth the time and effort, it was a skill to be proud of and thrifty.  The pair of socks lasted twice as long saving the expense of a new pair.  All were happy with this arrangement.

Today, however, more and more women work - time for housework does not include darning.  It is becoming a lost art as the throw-away society disposes of lots of odd socks or pairs of socks that are no longer serviceable due to the hole in one of them.  Even though the recession goes on and on the habit of 'bin it' quickly solves the problem of a holey sock.  No wonder socks are sold in multiple packs. 

It would seem that some men do not understand this changing female trend of  seemingly wastefulness.  It is quite unfathomable as to why a perfectly comfy pair of socks should be discarded so easily.  They either go on wearing the holed sock until it appears no more in their sock drawer or leave it waiting for the fairies to mend without a word to anyone.  It was a given, an expectation, a normality.

For the ladies their stockings and tights would also be 'saved' by a stitch in time or with a bit of nail varnish dabbed on to the hole to prevent laddering.  These practises by young ladies today are probably as foreign as 'mangles' and black and white TV.

Change is a natural progression of life.  And now that also refers to updating one mobile phone, laptop or i-pad for another which makes a nonsense of recycling as few want technology caste offs.  New, bigger, smaller, faster, more costly, seems to be order of the day.  There is a sense of being 'left behind' that drives most people to try to keep up.

Getting back to socks.  So the fashion of foot and leg garments remains unchanged but how long they are kept for is minimal.  Are they even reused for stuffing home made soft toys with the alternatives available to buy in craft shops?

Is there a society of darners out there to keep the tradition going?  Did the army or navy teach you to darn socks and do you still do it? Do you use them some other way after their drawer life?  Do comment in the space below.....

SFS CRAFT TIME 12.1.13

SOUL FRIEND SERVICE - CRAFT TIME 12.1.13

A small, friendly group of ladies who enjoy crafting meet monthly in Tamworth, Staffordshire for a few hours of fun.  We arrive full of news since our last meeting and sometimes it is hard for us to get down to the task in hand.  However, we soon shut out the world and focus on our favourite hobby - making unique cards. 

After a demonstration of this month's selected theme we choose our card, papers, toppers, peel-offs, card candy etc. and settle down to creating some very beautiful birthday cards.  Scissors, rulers, pencils, glues and tapes are all on hand.  Refreshments are taken part way through the morning.

Much laughter is guaranteed as we share snippets of thoughts - our banter has become tried, tested and trusted.  The group is open to receive new crafters should they wish to join us.

To find out more visit : www.soulfriendservices.com
If you have a question or wish to comment on this blog please leave your name and contact details below in the comment box.

KEEP OR SLING?

Clearing the clutter part III...

I expect you think this picture is just a load of old jumble but you would be wrong.  This is the wardrobe of one young lady who wished she'd never have started to have a sort out.  It was a drastic move to oust everything from her closet and then, one by one, examine the item of clothing to see whether it: a) fitted her; b) was still fashionable; c) still liked and suited her; d) was not in any state of repair and e) was of any use to anyone else.  It was not a five minute job but after a few hours and several coffee breaks the wardrobe was tidy, the floor clear, and bin and bags for the charity shop were well stuffed.  A satisfying mornings work!

Another way of tackling this job is to ask: when did I last wear this top/dress/skirt/trousers etc? If you have not worn it in the last 18 months are you likely to wear it again?  Probably not.  So why have it taking up space in the wardrobe?  This can be a seasonal exercise if you put away winter clothes when you fetch out summer clothes rather than having all the seasons clothes hanging in your wardrobe.  Drawers under the bed are useful storage for out of season clothes; or a suitcase on top of the wardrobe or in a storage cupboard.

Even the birds have a tidy up occasionally - they throw out of the nest unnecessary excess.  Hoarding is a human habit!  We are reluctant to let go of old favourites, presents and those items that might come in handy one day!  But how much lighter we feel when organising our homes to be clutterless.

No need to wait 'til spring to 'spring clean' - anytime is a good time.  Go on, take the bull by the horns, tackle something today and feel refreshed and VERY satisfied.

COMFORT BOX??

How do you take comfort?
There are many ways but not all are for our greater good. Some of the not so healthy choices are overindulging in: eating; drinking alcohol; taking drugs; gambling; sex; shopping; smoking etc.  These are all readily available, often necessary (especially eating!) and DO actually comfort us in the moment.  But sometimes the habit of taking comfort this way can lead to addictions whereby the need for them controls us, rather controlling the comfort giving pleasure ourselves.

So what other choices for taking comfort are there?  Some turn to religion for comfort and find a peace in faith practises - reading the bible, meditating, singing worship songs etc.  Others get a massage, have a spa day or stay at home in their onesie or casual clothes to relax reading or watching a film.

Hugs are good comforters if you are able to ask a good friend or your partner for one.  They are free.  Good physical contact with another gives us a boost of energy and self worth.  Getting out in nature does this too but we are not always able either to ask someone for a hug or take ourselves off for a walk in the woods or by a river.

So what about a Comfort Box - to be readily available as and when required.  What would be in yours?  This one holds a cuddly bear, a cosy hot water bottle, a face pack, foot spa gel, bubble bath, lavender oil, books to inspire and soothe, some favourite music on an i-player; a soft scarf, a wooden cross to hold with a prayer card, and, out of view: a fluffy pair of slippers and a cuddle blanket (snuggle rug).  All readily available at no cost, within easy reach and no danger of over-indulging.  The comfort each gives is instant and doesn't come with a government warning about being bad for your health!



Clearing the clutter

NOT JUST BOOKS...

A new year, a new start ....
Clearing out the clutter part II

It is a hard task to let go of things that have shaped your life and for me it is most definitely BOOKS.  There are some I have had for over 30 years.  I kept them as visual reminders of how they had significantly helped me in several ways:

• they have guided me to become who I am today
• they influenced my spirituality
• they comforted me in times of trouble
• they enlightened/educated/encouraged me
• they have de-stressed me
• they have helped me in my relationships
• they have focused me
• they have lead me in ways I might never have gone
• they have helped my health and well being
• they have amused me
• they have helped me escape the world as I entered the story and got engrossed with fictional characters
• they have inspired me

It is like saying goodbye to very dear friends but in reality they are just books.  I will hope they find a new home and be treasures of others who find the written word to be as fascinating as I do.  I will never EVER forget them as the lessons they have taught me are etched in my brain.  The very essence of them run through my veins and reveal themselves in my daily life.

I handle them one more time, flicking through the pages and remembering...  I smile, I sigh... I am grateful to the authors and to the publishers.  Treasures in deed, but time for a new phase of life, new books to read in new ways (enter the e-reader) and who knows, may be I will write one of my own!

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

Have you been spontaneous lately and given anyone a bunch of flowers?  The power of a few pounds in hand exchanged for some lovely live colour and fragrance even, is wonderful in itself.  But to then give them away to someone in hospital, next door or to your best friend adds a magic beyond words.

The receiver is cheered, warmed of heart and feels appreciated in whatever their situation is at that moment.  They can be gazed upon for days, watched as they open and as they begin to fade so the situation of the moment in which they were given, fades too.  Life moves on, things change. 

Whatever your situation today - good or bad - remember this : 'It came to pass.  It didn't come to stay - it came to pass'.  So appreciate the moment and make someone happier by engaging in a Random Act of Kindness. It's kick back is you will feel happier too!

SPRING CLEANING

SPRING CLEANING

Clearing out the clutter....

Do you have an 'allsorts' drawer, a box of useful paperwork, or a cupboard of 'it'll be useful one day' items?  Now is the time to DE-CLUTTER.  Try being less laden with rubbish, making space for a NEW START, and with a clearer mind for this year's projects.

De-cluttering makes you feel lighter in your own home, and, as the saying goes: 'a change is as good as a rest'.  One way to look at items is : 'have I used this in the last year'? 'If not, do I really need it?' This can be applied to the contents of wardrobes, sheds, kitchens, bathroom cupboards etc. and will bring about a space and tidiness that will lift your spirits.

It takes effort of course, but once started you can soon get carried away with minimising your paperwork, books, clothes, possessions etc. If you can't do it now, pen it in a diary or on the calendar as a day to have a go.  You will be so happy with the results.

Tidy house, tidy mind - so the saying goes.  Being untidy/dis-organised does seem to bring about confusion - where did I put my keys, where's that letter from the council, etc.  You spend hours looking for something when you could have been relaxing, gardening or chatting on the 'phone. 

Organising your 'stuff' needs organising too!  First you need to look at what you need - can furniture be better placed, can drawers be utilised differently, do you need more shelves etc.  I suggest that shoe boxes are very handy for storing 'stuff'.  They are not too heavy when filled, they stack nicely, they can be labelled with what is inside.  They prevent hoarding - once the box is filled with bills, bank statements etc. don't start another box until you have weeded out what is unnecessary to keep.

Big plastic storage boxes should only be used for light weight stuff like cushions, linen, a quilt, otherwise they are so heavy with books, photograph albums, hobby stuff, that lifting and storing becomes a problem.  Two smaller boxes in place of one big box is easier to handle and store.  Quilts, cushions, pillows could be stored in plastic bags that you can suck the air out with your vacuum cleaner.  They get so much flatter for storage purposes. 

Now ladies, and gents of course, when did you last clear out your underwear drawer?  How grey are some of your knickers?  Can't you treat yourself to new ones and throw away the broken elastic ones!  We think, what the eye can't see wont hurt, but don't we deserve to look nice underneath as well as our outer clothing?

Hope I have got you thinking and you declutter even just your newspaper rack today.  Happy Sorting!