Mother's Day

 You are like a Mum to me.....

My Mum died aged 47.  I was newly married and my youngest sibling, my sister only just at school.  40 years have gone by and each year the anniversary of her death, her birthday and Mother's day bring the same longing of the heart.  We have children of our own and they see us as Mum and the plentiful cards and gifts in the shops no doubt will pull on their heart strings and we will gladly receive a card and a gift or bunch of flowers from them.  We do our best to enjoy a day that is both sad and then happy with our own children.

Over that time, I have been lucky enough to have had mother-substitutes in my life.  A mother-in-law, Aunty Greta and Aunty Daisy.  My mother-in-law had three sons and so was not used to the ways of girls around her but I loved her and cared for her in her last days.  Aunty Greta was a very special lady - she didn't have any children of her own and took me and mine on as her 'kids'.  She lavished our daughter with things we couldn't afford and we all had a very special bond with this lovely lady who died many years ago too.

But Aunty Daisy has been something else.  She is Godmother to myself and my sister.  She was my mother's best friend, they met in their first job after school and remained friends until my mother died.  Daisy is not a blood relative but has taken that friendship and commitment as Godmother to the maximum benefit of us all.  She has one daughter but took all four of my mother's children under her wing when my dad grieved and then found a new wife.  She always speaks well of my brothers even though they have caused her some angst; she never complains about her neighbours becoming increasingly from other countries and cultures.  She sees the best in everyone.  She is a woman of great, yet simplistic faith.  She incorporates positivity, laughter and faith into each sentence, every day.  Her favourite saying is 'that's just the way it is'.  Acceptance. 

Over the years she has loved and lost a lot of people, sisters, husband, friends.  She has drunk tea like a true Brit.  Put the kettle on at every opportunity, it has been her tipple in times of joy and in times of sorrow.  I can't imagine my life without her in it.  She is 86 and has terminal cancer.  We don't know when that hour will come but this will probably be the last Mother's Day when I can give her a card that says 'you've been like a mother to me' and thank her for the love, laughter and memories we have.

No matter how old we grown up children are, there are always times when you wish your mother was still there.  They are the anchor of any family, the role model, the care giver.  Aunty Daisy is finding it hard to accept receiving care now as she has nurtured, loved and cared for so many in her lifetime.

Time is precious.  Tell those in your life what they mean to you because you never know what life has in store.  Happy Mothers Day to mother's everywhere, to those who are like a mother to others, and to those who are not mother's through choice or circumstances - may you be blessed with such good friends that you feel grateful, loved and secure anyway.   

Book Review II - The Cake Shop in the Garden

As an avid Carole Matthews' fan when I saw the launch for this book I just new I would be reading it, isn't the cover delightful - who doesn't like cake?  The launch saw Carole and friends enjoying cake from an actual cake garden - yes a garden made of cake.  Here is the proof!  Wow, what a stunning way to launch a book.  I wish I could have been part of it. Nom Nom Nom

Mary Berry, the Cake Queen, has endorsed this author announcing publicly her addition to Carole's books (there are 29 of them to date).  What an accolade for Carole.

Well, Carole had written one or two more books before I got around to reading this paperback.  It seems that books 'come out' in digital form first and then perhaps some six months later they hit the shop shelves as paperbacks.   So my list of 'books I want to read' gets longer and preferring a 'book in hand' I have to wait for sometime to get one ticked off my list.

The first few chapters for me evoked a sad feeling as it hooked into a place in my own situation I didn't want reminding of, but I soon divided fiction from reality and engaged with the protagonist and her everyday life.

I was also reading this gripping novel whilst preparing for a #timeforacuppa event - raising funds for Dementia UK, so all the cakey references, together with the many cupcakes, Victoria sandwich and tray bakes I was making had me working alongside Fay and her Latvian assistant.  Needless to say I went off cake rapidly as I felt a cake overdose, both mentally and physically.  This only made me read quicker than normal heading and hoping for a happily ever after ending.  I was not disappointed and soon returned to eating cake!

There were lots of laugh out loud moments as well as shedding tears of joy and sadness as I read this book.  Fay's life of boredom, routine, caring and an ordinary life turns to excitement, shocks and discomfort.  Life can sometimes be turned upside down when circumstances dictate change.  There is triumph in the face of adversity; love over feelings of hurt and disappointment; and good times over bad.  It left me hoping for a sequel (Please note Carole Matthews). 

The lovely Carole Matthews eating a plant pot cake.

Book Review - Wickham Hall

This is my first ever book review.  I enjoy reading novels and have 'pinned' a few of my favourite reads onto 'A Good Read' board on Pinterest.  I have left a few words on Amazon when I have had a book from that source but it was Carole Matthews who got me thinking that the Author appreciates feedback and other readers like to know how you experienced any particular book.  No doubt I will review one of Carole Matthews' 29 novels next, but I have just finished this one.  Isn't the cover appealing?  This is what I found when I delved inside and read the story.

It is about an ordinary village girl who enters the world of a well-to-do upper class family who inherited the stately home she and her mother visited every year and so begins a journey of discovery.  Holly Swift is a friend to all and helpful to all she comes into contact with.  Those of you who visit National Trust homes and grounds will be delighted with the wonderfully descriptive picture Cathy Bramley gives of Wickham Hall but you will also feel that Holly is your friend too.

The Hall and grounds holds secrets of the protagonist's family line which is uncovered when Holly Swift takes on the job of Events Manager.  Holly lives in a small cluttered cottage in the village near to Wickham Hall where there are acres of grounds and grand historic rooms.  Holly's two worlds collide bringing thrills, dreams and heartache.  She gradually changes from planning everything to learning to live in the moment and appeals to both sides of our psyche - organised -v- spontaneous.

Fashion, art, gardens and cooking all have a place in this dreamland world where Christmas glistens with snow, where love blossoms and she experiences magical starry nights.

It is every girls fantasy of a knight in shining armour being the character who leads you through tears and laughter, suspense and predictability, hope and surprises.  It will appeal to all of your emotions.

Very well written, thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommended.

Me and my shadow....

I posted this picture on Facebook and a friend took me down memory lane.  I vaguely remembered acting on stage in High School, a double act with a bowler hat, black trousers and tie and singing a song entitled 'Me and My Shadow'.  My friend added the next lines of the song on Facebook and then later, posted the You Tube version - Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jnr on FB too.  It was lovely to hear it again.

Our fun didn't stop there.  She had taken me back over 50 years and the next sketch I remembered from those school days was 'Island of Dreams' when, at an early age, I was dressed in a coloured grass skirt, white t-shirt, a big necklace of flowers and a halo of smaller flowers on my head.  I was a background dancer along with other classmates!  I looked 'Island of Dreams' up on You Tube.  There it was sung by The Springfields (filmed in black and white as colour vision had not been invented then!)

Lastly, I was the driver on stage when we did 'Seven Little Girls sitting in the back seat, hugging and a kissing with Fred'.  I could remember most of these words and enjoyed singing along with The Avons, again courtesy of YouTube.

If I was younger I feel sure I would know how to upload these YouTube videos onto this Blog page but alas I have tried and failed.  However, I hope I have sparked off some of your memories and you will visit YouTube and singalong to your long forgotten favourite songs.  I have stored them on my tablet, no not my blood pressure tablet, the electronic device.  Oh dear, I fear I am really an old person now - black and white tv, songs my offspring will never have heard of, and getting mixed up with the meaning of words.  Oh well, fun of the past can still be fun of the present thanks to the progress of time and inventions.

But, have you heard, these are coming back into fashion and I have one!  Get those old records out.

Never judge a book....

by its cover is a metaphorical phrase meaning 'don't prejudge by outward appearance alone'.  Good advice you may think, except that I wonder how many of us do precisely that when choosing our next read?

There are some fabulous covers on novels and children's books that draw you to pick them up and perhaps read the synopsis on the back cover to see what they are about and whether they appeal to your 'type' of reading matter.  It is only when I have read a book because I feel I 'should' that I am disappointed, not necessarily with the content but with myself for not enjoying it, learning from it or persevering to the end of it.  I do, mostly, probably, judge a book by its cover.  Please tell me I am not alone in this?

Or perhaps I read a book because I like the author, or of recent years, know the author.  They are good reasons not to take much notice of the cover.  Knowing the writer's style of writing or who the person writing the novel is, makes choosing a book to read so much easier when there are thousands out there to chose from.

Like a good film or television programme you enter the story and get lost in the characters and theme.  I am a slow reader and like to savour the story, not wanting it to end.  The protagonist has become my best friend and family member in my home.  Picking a book off the shelf or downloading one onto a kindle often is the start of a journey.  Company for the weeks ahead as you read, an imaginary world to enter, discover, feel, and love. 

We all have our favourite genres: crime, love story, thriller, action packed, historical etc.  But what happens when we reach the end?  I have come to appreciate that the author likes feedback and Amazon have a quick and easy way to share your thoughts about the book you have just read.  Just click on the 'review' and leave a few words of appreciation a) for the author and b) for other readers to judge whether this book might appeal to them also.  There is always word of mouth reviews as we tell our friends about our latest book, or passing the book on to someone who likes the same sort of story as you do.  I am finding there are many, many Book Bloggers out there that write extensively about books they have read, some read so quickly that it makes me feel quite dizzy. 

I can only read one book at a time, at my pace and of my choice.  I can't remember a time where I didn't read, I have been a library member all my life, had bookshelves full of paperbacks and study books and find parting with some of the most precious ones quite difficult.  But now, in this digital age, I take a photo of the cover and pin it on Pinterest with a little reminder of the story.  I write reviews to and for the author.  I move onto the next book more easily.

Now, if you imply the saying to people rather than books, that is a whole new subject to blog about as I am sure I am not the only person to have fell into that trap! 

Musical Groups

Last Saturday night saw me on a coach trip with hubby and friends.  We were travelling to Wolverhampton theatre for a Sensational 60's Experience.

The 1960's were called the 'Swinging 60's' and the pop culture was at an all time high.  I was only little then, it was late 60's early 70's when I became interested in what was in the charts.  My first record (you know, those black vinyl disks that you put on a record player) was 'You were made for me' by Freddie and the Dreamers.  A member of this group, Alan Mosca, was the compare for our evening of entertainment - a white haired, white suited gentleman that I didn't recognise.  I wanted to sing the song as I felt sure I could remember all the words, yet often I can't remember what I need from the shops without a list.

Unfortunately, we had chosen a night when Herman's Hermits were replace by the Fortunes.  I remember Herman's Hermits but alas not the Fortunes.  The other Groups were: The New Amen Corner, a tribute band that perform with Chris Farlowe and Steve Ellis; and The Union Gap.  It was nice to think I wasn't as old as I thought as there were some songs I didn't know.  However, they did sing some old favourites like - You've Got Your Troubles, Caroline and Young Girl which had me dancing in my seat, clapping to the rythymn and singing as no-one could hear.  Were they always that loud?  Echo's of mother shouting up the stairs "turn that down" as I recorded song after song, on a Sunday night, into my reel to reel tape recorder with a little microphone on a stand next to the transistor radio. 

I stared at the men on the stage.  They were old.  No zimmer frames but grey hair, bald heads, false teeth, and I am sure a body full of medications.  It was a weird sensation.  My eyes felt like I was just 30 years of age but my head told me different.  Don't get me wrong, they could still sing, they could still play their instruments extremely well but the look was all so very confusing.  Old men doing what they have done for more years than any of us wanted to remember.  The confusion was - did I admire them or did I think they should retire.  There comes a time when we are no longer at our best, our sell by date expires even if we do not, and I think I wanted to remember them as they had been originally.

Arriving home, with ringing in my ears, after midnight was a mood killer.  I mean, the youngsters today are just warming up on a Saturday night at that time!  Ahhh, I love my bed.  I wonder if One Direction, The Spice Girls, Little Mix and Union J will all still be performing in another 40+ years????

The Value of Groups

I treasure the groups I have, and still do, belong to.  In many circumstances it is easy to feel alone, isolated, lost.  But for just a little effort of leaving your comfy arm chair and stepping out into a new place you can find long lasting friendships, a feeling of being 'normal', encouragement, fun, new learnings, compassion, help, guidance, advice and so much more.

When I was a new young mother I took myself to the local Mother and Baby group.  I lived in an isolated spot where there were no footpaths and I didn't know the people in the few houses nearby.  I had to walk along the very busy main road to get to the pavement to even post a letter and walk so much further to find life in the Post Office or local store.   But no-one spoke to me on a personal level and I felt very alone with my little one.  So when I went to the Mother and Baby group and two other mums started chatting to me it felt really comforting.  We probably compared our off-springs progress in growth and activity, then got to know each other better over the following weeks, went on trips to the park together, babysat for each other and became firm friends that has lasted nearly forty years! 

Then I belonged to a local Childminder's group, being a founder member of the Association in our town.  They were a lovely group of women all caring for other people's children and having a common bond.  Again I have a life long friendship with the parent's of one of the children I 'minded' and was thrilled when the adult man I had loved as a child reconnected with me on a visit to a friend's house. 

Friendships have been formed through work, college, places I have lived but mostly through belonging to a group.  Craft Group and Writer's Group are what I am into now.  They are small groups but we have fun and laugh a lot and create cards and pieces of written work that we share with each other.  We talk the talk - each group has a language of its own with terminology that doesn't interest others outside of the circle of friends.  One of these friends goes to a Singing group in her own town and tells me how uplifting it is.

Alone we are only one person, we may believe we are not of much use to our community, we may be battling with mental health or serious illness or caring for an elderly person.  But joining a group be it for pleasure, support or education, there comes with it a benefit.  It gives us a medicine not prescribed on the national health - happiness, purpose, a sense of belonging, support, encouragement.  These are invaluable and worth seeking out.

You may have read my blogs about the Group of Holidaymakers I met in Skyros.  We formed such a close knit group for two weeks, being there for the common factor of wanting change in our lives.  We underwent personal development, attended our various courses, ate, swam, drank and enjoyed the sunshine together.  Saying goodbye at the end was very hard, we had become like a close knit family.  However, many of us have kept in touch by way of various mediums.  Such was our reward for leaving our comfort zones for the unknown, a bonus that was not indicated in the brochure when booking. 

I recently went to an Authors & Bloggers Meet Up and felt instantly part of a new group that is taking me into a new phase of my life.  Connections are made and no matter how close or far away these people live from me there is a sense of belonging, a sense of 'I know what you are going through', an excitement of following in some 'already published' author's footsteps, a buzz about meeting someone whose book you have read. 

The road of life is richer for having people in it along the way who love the things you love - animals, music, artwork, gardening, books, sewing, knitting, photography, golf, cycling etc etc etc.  There are groups for anything and everything.  Don't be shy, don't let that damning little voice tell you - you are not good enough.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.  Go to a club, a meeting, a group.  You will be surprised at how welcome 'belonging' can make you feel and how life enhancing it will be. 

A Husband with Hives

This came to light last year when my beloved broke out, overnight, in lumps, bumps, wheals and rashes.  He was covered from head to toe and his face, lips, and hands were swollen.  It was a shocking sight and with no idea what it was we ended up with an emergency hospital appointment.  We were calmly told it was Hives – an allergic reaction to something.  We then had to find out what the allergy was and it seemed to be ‘dairy products’.  So he spent 3 months extracting dairy from his diet, which was no mean feat as he loves cheese, pork pies, etc.  We found milk products in soap, red wine and other places we had no idea that contained milk.  We read labels, we became aware, educated, enlightened.  He has converted to Soya Milk in tea and on cereals, and eats goat’s cheese and goat’s butter.  The Hives went away.

He re-introduced some diary products and it occasionally comes back, mostly on his head and back at shoulder level.  His face often looks blotchy red with raised bumps or dry skin patches.  Being a caring wife I am forever wondering what is causing it.

At random I took a bathroom product to research as having looked at foodstuffs closely and changed my own eating preferences, I am also aware of chemicals in our household items too.  So here are the results of my findings of a well known dandruff shampoo that my beloved has been using: 

This is what anyone using the product is putting on their head each time they shampoo (and it runs down your body in the shower and can enter your system through your skin).

Ingredients

Aqua = water, especially when used in the pharmaceutical industry as a solvent (a substance in which other substances are dissolved, often a liquid.)  So I am guessing the following list is dissolved by ‘aqua’ but to me that just means ‘broken down into mini pieces (I was a long term dissolvable aspirin taker – dropping the tablet into a small amount of water to avoid swallowing a tablet).  Why don’t they just say ‘water’?

Sodium Lauryl Sulfate         I highly recommend you read up on these two for

Sodium Laureth Sulfate       yourself.

Well, having researched the above two items, I now want to dash upstairs and dispose of the product.  It only took me 30 minutes to research on-line to inform myself – this is not good!  I am dreading getting to the bottom of this list. 

Glycol Disterate – an emollient, can be seen as a cream coloured wax in room temperature, a compound based on stearic acid which is, a naturally occurring fatty acid; used to opacify (to cause to become opaque) liquid soaps, lotions, creams and shampoos.

Zinc Carbonate – a mineral ore which is a water insoluable zinc

Sodium Xylenesulfonate - a chemical formula; a surfactant (which is a complex naturally occurring substance made of six lipids (fats) and four proteins that is produced in the lungs).  Helps remove dirt from skin and hair. May irritate eyes temporarily, studies show no carcogenics.

Zinc pyriyhione – my research found benefits and reviews for skin conditions like acne, psoriasis and rosacea.  This ingredient is what helps get rid of dandruff.  However the possible side affects convinced me that it contributes to my husband’s Hives.  So check your allergies before use.

Cocamidopropyl betaine – a synthetic surfactant that comes from coconut oil but which has also been associated in some cases with irritation and dermatitis. 

Dimethicone – commonly referred to as silicone (which is sometimes used in breast implants, contact lenses and explosives).

Parfum – basically perfume!

Sodium benzoate – An ‘E’ number – E211 a preservative.  One report on www.naturalnews.com says it “promotes cancer and kills healthy cells”.  Another says “it is used as an antifungal preservative in pharmaceutical preparations and foods”.  Yet another says it is “generally recognized as safe in small doses”.

Guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride – a derivative of guar gum, an antistatic agent, natural food thickener used in everything from ice cream to pastries..  Plant product.

Hydrochloric acid – anything ending in Acid always sends shivers down my spine however we produce Gastric Acid in our stomachs naturally.  Wikipedia says it is a clear, colourless, highly pungent solution that is a highly corrosive, strong mineral acid with many uses – one of which includes removing rust from steel. (Please read the whole article on-line)

Magnesium carbonate hydroxide – often known as milk of magnesia (aha something I recognise and don’t need to explain).

Hexyl cinnamal – is a naturally occurring and synthetic scent ingredient, it is associated with allergic reactions. Found in the essential oil of chamomile.  Imparts a jasmine-like scent.

Magnesium nitrate – occurs in mines and caverns as nitromagnesite.  A naturally occurring mineral.

Sodium polynaphthalenesulfonate – sodium salts, deemed safe in cosmetics by Cosmetic Ingredients Review Expert Panel.

Methylchloroisothiazolinone – is a preservative with antibacterial and antifungal effects.

Cl 42090 – Brilliant blue colourant E number 133.

Cl 19140 – Yellow colourant E number 102

Magnesium chloride – extracted from sea water, used to hydrate.

Methylisothiazolinone – preservative possibly toxic that could cause nerve damage.

“Cosmetic companies defend their use of this ingredient by stating that they use very low amounts, at around 15 ppm. They further claim that because the ingredient is in “rinse-off” products, any dangerous or toxic effects are washed down the drain. Meanwhile, you have a bacteria-free formula that lasts a long time on your shelf.”

So it, along with all the other chemicals found in just one of my household products gets into our water system.  I know I am now getting paranoid and that one person changing their shampoo is not going to make much difference to the environment but just as I learnt about the contraceptive pill having an affect on fish (it being wee’d out, flushed down the loo, ending up in rivers, changing the sex of fish) is everyone’s shampoo chemicals giving us serious health issues?

I typed the list of ingredients, then went back to research them. I realised how little notice I take of what I have stored in bottles in my bathroom.  After typing the list (the words were so small I had to use a magnifying glass to read them) I then asked myself:  What are these words on the shampoo bottle?  What do they mean, what are they?  I can’t even pronounce most of them and two are just numbers.  What are the manufacturers hiding from us?  Why can’t they use words we the consumer understand?  Do we need labels like our foodstuffs with red, amber and green to indicate the good, not so good, and harmful contents?

I appreciate much research is done before products reach our supermarkets and shops but who is making the decision that things are ok for us to use without health hazards?  Products tested on animals may react differently in humans, surely?

I am just an ordinary consumer, not one prone to buying from advertisements although I realise these can and do influence our choices.  I am not in anyway normally interested in science but there comes a time when my choices need to change, hopefully it is not too late to do so.  I have blindly used things I now won’t touch, and have naively brought products for my home without much thought to the environment, my skin and my body.  But that is changing.

My summary of findings on this one product follows:

Toxic

Harmful

Irritant

Astringent

It has both benefits and side affects but, for me, the side affects outweigh the benefits.

On the front of the bottle it claims “up to 100%* flake free anti-dandruff shampoo”

On the reverse the * after the 100% means “visible flakes from a distance of 2 feet”.

Also on the reverse it tells users to “Shake before use.”  Who does that????  And Why???  It does give a warning to avoid contact with your eyes.

The shampoo has a symbol on saying  “research validated by British Skin Foundation” which deals with finding cures for skin diseases.  Another time I may look at their website and see if they are not only finding cures but actively addressing causes.

Author & Bloggers Meet Up II

Bacchus Bar, Birmingham

                                                                                                   Networking

 Kim Nash, Publicity Manager of Bookouture;  Christie Barlow, Author & myself

What a Fab Day

With train tickets in hand, acquired from a machine rather than a person in a ticket office, I set off for the second city.  The transformation of 'Birmingham New Street' station to 'Grand Central' was amazing.  I felt like I was in New York!  Arriving an hour early I explored the new surroundings: shops, eating areas, coffee bars, wine, ice creams, sushi - it was all available.  In order to get my bearings as to where I was, I exited the Grand Central and crossed the road, which now has tram lines in it so I expect before too long there will be electric buses running there.  The Bacchus Bar was easily found but I went into New Street and back tracked 'up the ramp' that was a familiar entrance to the old station and to the Bull Ring Shopping Centre.  I found a few shops to browse in, made some purchases then went back to the Bacchus Bar.

It has been 40+ years since I went into a pub in Birmingham and, descending the steps, the horror of the Birmingham Bombings back in 1974, when I was a teenager, flashed through my mind.  I had just left New Street having been to see a pop idol, Gilbert O'Sullivan, the same night the bombings had occurred.  Shuddering at the thought that terrorism has never ceased, I opened the door and entered the underground bar in the Burlington Arcade, New Street which has a street history since 1398. It's beauty took my breath away and I wanted to just stand and stare but as I was there for a purpose and people were enjoying their drinks at tables in various coves and wrought iron surrounds, I made my way to the champagne bar which was reserved for our meet up.  There were Kim and Christie and I felt 'at home' in their company.

The room, with its low ceiling and decorative murals, soon became filled up with chatting, enthusiastic people all wanting to get to know one another, meet up with other writers and learn about what they write, whether published, whether a blogger, reviewer, editor, etc.  The room was alive with LIFE.  It was sooooo uplifting.  I am not sure if I was the oldest person there but I felt so much younger, indeed one young lady complemented me on my age by being astounded by my daughter's age, so that boosted my ego!

Photographs were taken, cards and twitter or facebook tags exchanged, lunch eaten, wine, coffee, tea.  It was hard to hear at times with so much chatter but as the room depleted it descended into a more conducive noise level.  I made myself talk to people I hadn't met before and when finally I felt exhausted I left and took the train home.

Twitter and facebook went mad last night and it was wonderful to be able to add new friends and see other people's photos.  When people meet with a common interest it is so much easier to relax in their company.  I found that experience when I went on my writer's holiday last August on the Island of Skyros. (See previous Blogs).   Special people, special places, special talents, special friendships.

To try and still my mind I watched a film, War Horse, in the evening, but alas when my head hit the pillow it was reliving the day.  As always, anxieties and worries never come into being.  If we listen to strongly to the NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts - see a much earlier blog) we will miss so many opportunities to learn, laugh and LIVE.  Thank you KIM NASH for inviting me and organising these events.  You are a very, very special lady. 

Natural Beauty Products

In the last six months I have had my eyes and mind opened to products that I am just bowled over by and wonder why this information is not more widely known.  Products like toothpaste, moisturiser, soap, shampoo and bubble bath are slowly but surely changing in my household.

Being conscious of so many of my friends being ill will cancer or other life changing illnesses makes me question what causes these illnesses.  If you read my Blog on my 60 day challenge you will know that I have changed my eating habits and am living a more healthy lifestyle, not necessarily as a weight management aid nor to help fitness levels but because I believe I MYSELF want to control what I put in my body and how I care for it.  I became aware of additives to my foods that were not doing me any favours - extra salt, extra sugar, chemicals that I didn't know what they were for or how they worked and whether I ought to be digesting them or not.

I am a long time believer in natural remedies, reading health issue articles and books but obviously not discounting the wonderful work that the NHS do when we need operations, investigations and any cures that they offer. 

A lot of people at this time of year are 'dieting' again.  It pains me to hear their struggles with weight gain and loss.  There are always new plans, groups and theories to try.  Some call them money making scams but 'result' pictures show the difference eating in this way or that way can make and how it can change your life if indeed you stick with it, even after the goal has been reached.  It has to be a way of life, not just for a few months, a year or two, but forever.

That brings me to the first review of FOREVER LIVING products. ALL their products for life balance, fitness and weight management, beauty, pets and home are Aloe Vera based, not tested on animals.  Aloe Vera can be ingested with added fruit juices, vitamins, minerals, herbs etc and/or applied to the skin.  My three favourite products are : Forever Bright Toothgel which does not contain fluoride formulae or bleaching agents.  It is green and a bit strange at first when you have had a life-time of white or stripped paste to use day and night but after a recent filling which left me with a very sensitive tooth I cleaned my teeth and then coated my sensitive tooth with the gel for overnight relief.  It worked.  Secondly I would not be without FL Relaxation Massage lotion.  Together with Aloe Vera it contains white tea and the oils of lavender, bergamot and sunflower seed.  It smells heavenly and I rub my neck and shoulders every morning after my shower.  A lovely start to the day.  I also use FL Aloe Moisturising lotion daily on my face - it contains aloe, joboba oil, collagen and elastin - as a base before any make up.  I wont be going back to other long trusted face creams of which I never did read the label of contents of.  I have my sister to thank for converting me and bringing FL products to my attention.  If you want to support her in her career with this company please look her up on Facebook - Healthy Living Forever with Julie. 

Secondly and equally amazing are the ARBONNE products.  I invited two friends to sample some products from this range.  We learnt some ghastly facts about mites in your mascara/eyelashes (make-up has shelf life just like food, and their products have a 'use by' date on); that products we put on our skin is gets into our systems, it doesn't just stay on the surface.  We were challenged to try this theory out by putting a clove of garlic between our toes and within a minute we would taste garlic as it travelled through our bodies.  (I will try this out one day, none in at the moment).  And the image of smokers putting nicotine patches on, in order to give up smoking, they are getting their nicotine through the skin.  So Arbonne products are pure, safe and beneficial formulated without artificial flavours, sweeteners, chemicals, preservatives, petrolatum etc etc etc.  If you wish to know more and are on Facebook please key in your search box : Arbonne with Independent Consultant Kim Nash. 

Lastly, on a recent visit to Bath City, my friend and I came across a LUSH shop.  I had previously been introduced to this shop by my daughter who showed me all the wonderfully natural products in the store and then we had a demonstration of the Bath Bombs - 'bubble bath' to us oldies, but no bottles in sight.  The Bath Bombs fizzed, bubbled and coloured the water and even gave out little rose buds to float in your tub.  All made from harmless products - it made me think "what have I been sitting in, in my bath all these years?"  My friend and I purchased a few items to try and we are both absolutely amazed by the shampoo soap bar.  No plastic bottle just a bar of round soap that you lather in your hands then rub on your head which generates more and more soap.  It leaves my hair squeaky clean and together with the bath bombs I am again convinced I need to change a few more habits of a life time.  Lush can be found on-line or in shopping centres in major cities. 

Go on, try something new, be amazed and thrilled as I am.  Let me know how you get on.

 

Authors and Bloggers Meet Up

This was taken in Athen's airport last September.  The book I found was Carole Matthew's latest (then) book The Cake Shop in the Garden.  My favourite author and such an alluring cover.  I was returning from a Writer's Retreat in Skyros and my dream is one day to have a book on a bookshelf for sale.  I don't crave fame and fortune, just to realise that dream. 

For those that 'follow' me on Facebook (Sue Flint, Author) or Twitter (@tweetsue13) you will know I am on that journey.  I have sent off children's books to publishers and have broken through the 40,000 word barrier of a novel.  It feels there is still a long way to go but I am enjoying the journey.

This coming Saturday I have been invited to join a group of Authors and Bloggers in Birmingham. When I accepted the invitation I thought it would be a small group, 12-15 people at most, but there are nearly 50 people going.  I have met 2 before and one I am looking forward to meeting as we 'comment' on Facebook.  So, as you can imagine, I am both very excited and a little bit scared. 

Nerves are a funny thing aren't they?  They churn your stomach up and give you all sorts of negative thoughts.  Should I be going?  I'm not yet an Author.  Where is it?  Will I feel I don't belong?  Who will be there?  And on and on go the 'shall I cancel' thoughts. 

I have learnt not to listen to the rubbish that comes and goes in my head.  JUST DO IT.  I tell myself.  And I will.  I will board the train into Birmingham alone, ask if I get lost, act confidently even if I am quaking in my boots around other authors, and return triumphant have met, I am sure, some very interesting people all at different stages of writing and publication.

Wish me luck.

A New Year

365 blank pages.  Well, 366 as this is a leap year.  As with all blank pages its hard to know where to start.  What will I write? 

I write anything - lists of jobs to do, things to buy, etc.  I write emails, letters, personal journals, etc.  and then I am writing a novel and some children's story books.  It excites me, it is my passion and I wish I had pursued this avenue a long time ago, but its better late than never.

I read too.  I am a slow reader, I like to savour the story and even when I wonder how it will end I make it last, perhaps only reading a chapter or two at a time.

I don't make New Year Resolutions but I have decided to log all the books I read, the films I see, the theatres and other places of interest that I will visit.  Having Blogged about my Review of 2015 (scroll down to see that) I didn't feel it did the year justice.  A ten minute write up of a whole year!  Ok, so it was a summary, but so much more could have been written. 

What makes me want to share so much of my life with others?  Why do I want others to read my work?  At the time of writing I don't feel alone, I feel there are people out there who identify with my struggles and celebrate in my joys.  You dear reader, make life more interesting.  I love your feedback and comments.  I would write anyway, even if you didn't reply.  Writing is part of who I am and always has been.  Where some people paint or draw, sew, bake, garden, dance etc. my main 'hobby' is the written word.  Don't get me wrong I like pictures and nature too, I can sew and bake and plant things.  My dancing days are few and far between now but I once dreamed of being a ballerina like most little girls.

So I have filled a page of writing, of nonsense you may say, but it got my fingers going and I can return to the job in hand - writing the second third of my novel which I hope to have completed by May 2016 before I go on a tour of Portugal and Spain with hubby and friends.  I hope to have completed the novel by August and have the first edited draft in a publishers hands by the end of 2016.  If I set myself this goal maybe I will surprise myself and get it done well before these deadlines.

I really appreciate all the Tweets of encouragement on Twitter.  If you are not following me on Twitter please do @tweetsue13; or on Facebook - Sue Flint, Author.  Otherwise do leave a comment below, just so I know someone out there has read a Blog or two.  Many thanks.

May your year be all you hope for.  Wishing you good health, a peaceful heart and loving, happy relationships.

A look back at

As a new year approaches it's a time of looking back to what has been and looking forward to what is to come.

The first quarter of 2015 saw me winding down my self-employment business and pronouncing myself 'Retired' although I have a good few years yet before I receive a state pension and bus pass.  It was a milestone and a leap of faith into the unknown.  However, I had plans to write more, but best laid plans..... At first I felt bereft of a working life structure, of an income, and of a status.  With the help of lots of coffee in garden centres, Costa, Marks & Spencer's etc (don't we visit each others houses anymore?) I ambled away hours of freedom, caught up with friends and relatives that a work life doesn't always allow for, and generally pottered about trying to write as well. 

I attended a Women's Weekly Writing Fiction workshop in London, overcoming my fear of going up a very tall building in a lift, and enjoying being taught by Della Galton, Author.  I also attended two lovely separate Quiet Days at a nearby retreat house to attend to my spiritual nature.  I continued to attend Writer's Block and Craft Time groups, which now sees others leading in turn, rather than me leading each time.

I had lots of caravan days in the countryside of Derbyshire, a weekend away with 'the girls' in Bakewell and a holiday with hubby in Norfolk - a part of UK I had not previously visited.  It was really lovely.  And I had an adventure by taking myself to the beautiful island of Skyros for a Writer's holiday where I was taught by Dominique Roffey, Author, in daily classes.  It was a one off holiday of a lifetime and I met some fantastic people, some of whom still keep in touch from various corners of the world.  This holiday was the kick up the bum I needed to discipline myself to write more and I am happy to say that I have written a third of a novel, sent off my children's stories to 3 publishers, and even have a memoir in mind to write after the novel is complete.

I have enjoyed Twitter and Facebook and indeed formed some special friendships with other authors and in particular Kim Nash, Publicity Manager with Bookouture and her son Ollie.  What a treasure.

My daughter continues to inspire me in her clean eating and fitness regime and has turned into a kitchen goddess, whipping up a mean omelette for us, or providing our Christmas day meal at the drop of a hat.  Her business, Industry Barbers, continues to flourish and her Little Miss Sunshine classic VW car still sparkles at shows.

As always there have been down times too.  Many of my friends have had cancer - three with breast cancer; bone cancer, ovarian cancer, bladder cancer, throat pre-cancerous cells.  It has been heart-breaking and difficult to know how to help other than be there and listening.  Thankfully all are being or have been treated and recovering.  Another friend had a stroke and lost the power of speech and confident mobility.  Another friend lives with caring daily for Dementia struggles and had a house move which unsettled her husband; and another friend had a terrible tumble and needed stitches above her eye.  My hubby had Hives and we learnt all about an allergy to diary products and how to have a diet without it.  He loves his cheeses so over Christmas signs that he needs to take his intake of diary seriously again raised its head.  

No year is without its ups and downs. The see-saw of life tips from tragedy to excitement, from saddness to happiness and sometimes balances out in a brief time of routine and calm.

I continued to have exercise in the gym and gained my gold card which I now use to attend Aqua aerobics once a week too. 

I have been to the theatre a few times, to the cinema several times, on a coach trip to Bath and have read some lovely books by lovely authors.

I now feel ready to call myself an Author as I write regularly for the church magazine, this blog, a few thousand words or more each week of my novel etc.  2016 will see me attending Swanwick Writers Summer School in Derbyshire as well as a lovely holiday with friends touring Spain and Portugal.

Let's hope for a happy and healthy 2016, lots of love with family and friendships, and plans to come to fruition.

Happy end of the year.

Angels

Do you believe in Angels?  I could tell you a tale of white feathers and how they 'come to me' just when I need them; or happenings that some would call 'co-incidences' but I call them 'God-incidents'; or I could tell you of actual people who act in angelic ways that fill my heart with joy.

The latter happened over Christmas.  Firstly, when faced with 'the day' and the thought that Christmas is for children and families, a photo of a boy holding some presents pings into my phone.  My heart leaps and my eyes are filled with tears.  That someone has thought of me and wanted to send a special message in a photo, someone who knows a deep grief both for herself and has heard mine, touched a sensitive place and then another funny photo followed to make me smile again.  Such a treasured moment of love, loss and more love.

A few days before Christmas another super surreal moment occurred via a private facebook message.  A fellow author I had met the previous year in another divinely orchestrated meeting, told me she had met another Sue who is an editor and proof reader.  She linked us together and we will be meeting in January in Birmingham.  A new networking group which helps those blogging, writing, getting into publishing etc.  I was amazed, thrilled and again my heart was touched. 

Christmas day was the third touch of a human angel - it was very ordinary and happened in most homes on the one day when families gather around a table eating until they can eat no more.  It was the treasure of family.  There was no feather but a little banter of absent loved ones and memories of old.  Being grateful for what we have and who we have in our lives now, in this moment came over me like a cloud of a lovely soft quilt wrapping itself around me for comfort, warmth and love.

I have so many angel friends and family, both in heaven and on earth, I feel overwhelmingly blessed.

I have posted a separate YouTube song which, when I posted it on FB brought another 'God-incident' finding out that a friend was also a fan of this singer and I may be able to go with her to a concert in Birmingham next year to see the singer.

I hope you had moments of joy over the Christmas period whether from presents received, visitors, food & drink, or sleeping, game playing, laughing and remembering loved ones with happy memories.

  

Lucinda Drayton - "A Hundred Thousand Angels"

I've got rhythm...

I am really enjoying my novel writing now.  I am engaged with the characters and love how, when I sit down to a writing session, it all just flows.  Some of what I write is drawn from personal experience and some from the imagination.  It comes forth like it is real and in the moment.  When I read a novel, that is exactly where it takes me and the fact that I can write like this is exciting because it makes me believe in myself and the possibility of publication.

The rhythm I have found goes something like this : 

Today is a writing day.

Put the heater on the in garden cabin.

Have breakfast and potter about for 30 minutes in the house.

Return to the cabin, set up the laptop, pens, paper, etc

Switch on, re-read last few paragraphs

Take flight and write!  Just write (well type). 

After an hour or so have a coffee and biscuit.

After another hour or so have a loo break.

When I have had enough (or get back ache) I look at the Word Count and if it is pleasing (over 2,000 words) I call it a day.

This rhythm works for me. It is a dance I do with and for myself once, twice or three times a week.  Of course at this time of year there are times when I have to forgo my garden cabin time - people to see, presents to wrap, shopping to do etc. 

So, to those of you who follow my progress and encourage me, I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  From Selfie Sue !!!

PS. I am up to 31,000 words - that's a third of a novel - and already planning my next book!! 

Cheers!

I could just drink one of these right now!  An Alfa beer.  A happy memory moment from my Skyros holiday which seems so long ago now the days in UK are darker, colder, and far from being 'chilled' in a relaxed holiday sort of way.

I am in touch with my Skyros friends - one of whom is writing her novel at a pace of knots during the NaNoWriMo experience which I have chosen NOT to partake in.  Another 'already established' author is also 'tweeting' and blogging about the NaNoWriMo experience.  It felt like too much pressure to put myself under - to commit to 1,500 words a day for the whole month of November.  After all my diary was already full of other things and there is the added pressure of Christmas being around the corner. 

But seeing them and others achieve good writing goals made me press on with mine regardless of the NaNoWriMo experience.  I am enjoying reconnecting with my work, retyping and allowing the story to go where it will.  I feel being connected to other writers is driving me on, if they can do it so can I.

I am up to 17,000 words now and loving being in my cabin for a two or three hours, for a few days per week.  The more I do, the more I want to do.  Things in my diary have been cancelled or rearranged.  Time is not an issue any more.  When you want to do something, you will find time.

My novel is well under way.  It would be nice in a year's time or less, to have it in a publisher's hand and be ever hopeful of it being accepted, printed and available for readers.

My children's books are out there as I write this awaiting their fate also.  I have a new kind of determination that I didn't have before my Skyros holiday. 

So Cheers @Skyrosholidays; @AndreaAnastasiou; @dellagalton; @carolematthews; @kimthebookworm; @christiebarlow; @mandybaggot; @bookouture and all authors connected by twitter.  Coffee time!!

Tweeting!

The little blue bird has won!  Mentally I tell myself that spending time on social media is a waste of valuable time.  There are so many other things to do, especially when I am supposed to be writing a novel. 

My daily devotions to the Internet are far too long - a look at Facebook, play a game or two of Words with Friends and Wordox, read the latest Tweets, write a blog, send an email or three - the list seems endless.  So what do I do, open a second Twitter account to post on 'Counselling Helps' @sueflint13.

It might seem that I miss my work life - I am a retired Person Centred Counsellor and Supervisor of Counsellors.  For me it is a 'sorting out stuff' time of year.  The annual tidy up before Christmas.  Papers, folders, drawers, cupboards have all had my attention recently.  There are so many rich papers from my Counselling courses that I am loathed to just throw them out.  Some I can pass on to colleagues who are still working, but the idea to Tweet short helpful statements came in a flash and before you know it I had another Twitter account.  I hope it is useful to those who 'follow'.  The years of learning and experience I had would then not be lost.  Am I just procrastinating in the letting go or genuinely concerned for others well being?  Perhaps both.

We all have problems, every day something upsets us, frustrates us, annoys us or we have health issues to contend with, relationship difficulties, injustices to fight, work/life balance stresses.  Positivity isn't always easy to practise.  So any little snippet of uplifting thought is useful; any thought provoking statement can change the course of our day (or even our life) if we allow it to.

Take a look at my new Twitter account, follow me and tweet a reply.  Or leave a comment on this blog post.  I love hearing from you.  Many thanks.

NNR - Poppy Line

Holt to Sheringham

The steaming black giant arrived exactly on time.  Old men in beige jackets hurried towards the end of the platform to click away on their cameras catching a glimpse of nostalgia.  Above them, on the platform, hangs a sign announcing an area for women - a waiting room out of the chill of winds.

As the train came to a halt, passengers scrambled aboard the carriages and seated themselves for the short journey.  Excitement was a long ago feeling, now the elderly calmly awaited the whistle that the station master would blow when all the carriage doors had been slammed shut.

A baby cried, the carriage echoed its screams.  The mother could not calm it and everyone became restless.  Then silently the train rolls forward and the journey began.  Soon the rhythm and rocking motion comforted the child and countryside scenery gave the passengers delights from the windows.  A golf course, a windmill, rotting old boats by a shed in a field, the sea in the distance and soon, a stop at a station where the signal tags were exchanged by the guardsman and station master.  In a buffet café on the station, people sat sipping tea and eating scones - it seemed like time had stood still. 

The black uniform of the conductor and his ticket clipper gives him an air of authority.  He is a volunteer in his 80's.  His friend, Mr Briggs was on the train, hearing aid turned up and shouting across the aisle as his wife made comments about politics.  The carriage heard his views on UKIP, the Prime Minister and the state of the world today.  A far cry from the world it was when, as a lad, he travelled this way before.

When a diesel engine passed by on the other line, full of school children on a trip out, the steam train edged forward again then smoothly continued on its journey. 

At the terminus everyone clambered out onto the platform - no electrically opening doors but passengers reaching out through the pull-down window to the handle that opened the carriage door.

More cameras, more chatter of how the engine would get hooked up to take the carriages back again. They stood and watched as the engine uncoupled from its coaches, shunted forwards, changed line, then reversed to the other end of the coaches to recouple and commence its return journey.

Soon there will be no-one to remember when these beasts were the crème de la crème of transport, only day trippers out for a Sunday ride.

 

A Retreat Day

Coming Home to God – Quiet Day 31.10.15

Booking a Quiet Day is hard when the voice in your head says ‘can I afford to take a whole day out in my busy life’, ‘who will be there, what if I don’t know anyone, I’m not sure where it is exactly….’ Your reward is in the stepping out in faith - ‘Come unto me all who are heavy laden and I shall give you rest’.

It is not like a holiday or a weekend away where excitement builds and baggage is necessary. Any ‘baggage’ we carry mentally melts away in the Hillcrest Centre where, just arriving enables you to sink into ‘space’, ‘time’ and ‘stillness’. You are greeted by white doves on the pathway and a rainbow of cushions on a long, soft sofa in the meeting room. There are other rooms to use – the cosy conservatory, a chapel, a small cottage lounge, an art room and the dining room. There are walks across fields or around the lake where benches and a summer house are strategically placed so that you can sit awhile, reflect and feel part of nature.

No sooner are brief introductions made than the Retreat Day leaders help participants enter into sacred space aided by lit candles, softly played music, a themed picture, bible reading and meditation. Words are sent straight to your soul – something of your situation is silently, secretly touched. You ‘come home to God’ where you are safe, where there are no more hurts, where tender care is and where you are precious. Your spirit stirs within you and you are there – in His Presence. Outside autumn leaves have fallen and brighten up the sadness of the season with their colours – reds, yellows, browns and greens. Dew drops glisten on blades of grass; two ducks glide silently across the water; bulrushes and the reflection of trees appear upside down on the water; holly bushes bare their bright red berries. God whispers, “I am here”.

Hot drinks and biscuits warm me from my walk and again I sink into the stillness and peace of the main room. Such bliss! I am drawn into the picture of the shepherd rejoicing at finding his lost sheep. How special that lamb must feel on the shoulders of the One who carries him. We are so very unaware that God does this for us every day. When we take time to ‘draw near’ He reveals Himself to us in ways we miss on a daily basis. He is our Rescuer – how often do we give thanks? He is the One that leads us Home in this life and the next; He binds up the injured – how many illnesses have we overcome? He strengthens us for the next stage of life.

There are footprints in the picture and it makes me look back to the many times He has carried me and then set me down on a new path – He has placed me in flocks of people, both at home and abroad. ‘Home’ they say ‘is where the heart is’ but it is also a place of refuge, restoration, safety, comfort, healing; it is where you can be yourself, where feelings can flow, where nourishment and cleansing takes place. He has led me to many a Retreat House and Church; He has given me a spiritual home and connected me with likeminded people. How blessed I am.

A Home cooked, wholesome lunch served by lovely ladies who help Stella and Mark at their home enables the group to chat and get to know each other a little better over the kitchen tables. Afterwards, another meditation with an hour or so of silence to read, nap, walk, be creative with art materials or write in a journal. Time passes very quickly and we end the day with song and prayer.

Those doubts in our heads beforehand, long forgotten and hopefully dispelled by the time another Quiet Day is arranged. Thank you so very much, Pippa and Cathy.